Alligators Eat Marshmallows (And Other Things I Learned On My 10,000 Mile Road Trip Around The USA!) Quotes

“Milepost 420 wasn’t there. It had been stolen so many times by enthusiastic pot smokers that the state government replaced it with Milepost 419.9. Quite what the stoners wanted to do with the roadsigns once they’d stolen them is still unknown. Or, to quote someone with firsthand knowledge of such a theft, “It seemed like a good idea at the time, dude…”
― Tony James Slater, Alligators Eat Marshmallows (And Other Things I Learned On My 10,000 Mile Road Trip Around The USA!): A Comedy Memoir

“Over time, further stone walls encircled the Mission, complete with turrets and platforms for a wide variety of cannon — essential kit for bringing the love of Jesus Christ to the natives. What always amuses me about this is that, at no point did any of these die-hard crusaders stop to think, “you know, if we need this level of firepower just to stay alive, there’s a slight chance that the love of Jesus Christ isn’t really welcome here. Maybe we should try somewhere else?”
― Tony James Slater, Alligators Eat Marshmallows (And Other Things I Learned On My 10,000 Mile Road Trip Around The USA!): A Comedy Memoir