How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways Quotes

“Every woman knows that all good plans start with a brand-new notebook.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“I contain my rage, because learning to do that is part of growing up in this society is - especially as a woman.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“Women are not expected to brag; we are expected to be humble. If someone tells you that you look nice, you let them know you strongly disagree. If you know you have aced an exam, you must still bemoan how poorly you probably did, and when the results come back, you must look confused and say, ‘Well, I wasn’t expecting that!”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“Mentally, I added to my Venn diagram of hatred, ‘Men who think of looking after their own spawn as “babysitting”.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“Perhaps it’s a survival mechanism – if you truly give in to the knowledge that you’ve married and had a kid with a total twat, what next?”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“Although I can’t stand idiotic people, I adore stupid animals. What a wonderful life.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“to”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“It’s ingrained in women, this need to ‘make an effort’, no matter what the circumstances. You could be bleeding out on the tarmac, having just been hit with an eighteen-wheeler, and you’d still worry about the underwear you’re wearing. Should have made more of an effort today must be so many women’s dying thought.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“I contain my rage, because learning to do that is part of growing up in this society – especially as a woman.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“Usually, on the rare occasion that I get persuaded to give dating a try, I focus in on the minutiae of everything that is wrong with the guy. Maybe they have ugly hands, or sniff too much, or have one crooked tooth. Maybe he mentions a book I find pretentious or takes too long to choose what beer he wants. Bad facial hair, a high-pitched laugh, rests his hand on my leg, likes rugby too much, likes me too much, boastful, shy, boring, annoying, too earnest, too cocky, wearing a quirky jumper, V-neck t-shirt, bad glasses, or novelty socks. Tells a Jimmy Carr joke, has nails that are too perfect, works in marketing at a finance company and thinks they count as a ‘creative’. Has no opinion or too forceful an opinion. Texts to say they are running late but spells it, ‘L8’. Any of the above can be enough to send me running for the hills.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“Even though a lot has happened today, it's really rather relaxing, being unemployed. Once you stop worrying about the whole money thing.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“People make their own beds in which to lie, and I won't be judged for tucking them in at night.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“Things are not going to plan, but I'm only a quitter when it comes to work, hobbies, relationships, diets, and most friendships. Not murder.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“Murder, or prison. Ironic really, that I had to murder a man to stay out of jail.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“Give us a smile, love!'
Small spikes of anger flare, but they dissipate quickly. One cannot kill every man who shouts at them, there's not enough time in the day.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“Entering Dave's house is also easy, because Dave is stupid and unimaginative, something I had my fingers crossed for the first time I moved the flowerpot by the back door. A house key left right by the door – it's basically natural selection.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“The idea of a tell-all confessional tape being released days after my death that shocks everyone to their grey, middle-class core is appealing to me, Gauche, I know, but fame, notoriety, and a certain f&$*-you-all glamour is right up my street, even if I'm not around to see it.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“No point crying over spilt blood.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

“breeeeathe’ and ‘empty the miiiiind’ but really all I could focus on was trying to make my thighs strong enough to kill a man.”
― Eve Kellman, How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways