Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, The Quotes

“Legalism The weight we are describing is called legalism. It is a form of religious perfectionism that focuses on the careful performance and avoidance of certain behaviors. It teaches people to gain a sense of spiritual acceptance based on their performance, instead of accepting it as a gift on the basis of Christ. Why were the leaders of Jesus’ and Paul’s day spreading legalistic teaching? Was it simply a matter of being right? It’s more serious than that. Look at Galatians 6: 12-13: Those who desire to make a good showing in the flesh try to compel you to be circumcised, simply that they may not be persecuted for the cross of Christ. For those who are circumcised do not even keep the Law themselves, but they desire to have you circumcised, that they may boast in your flesh. You see, living with Jesus as your only source of life and acceptance is a confrontation to those who seek God’s approval on the basis of their own religious behavior. This, then, explains the pressure you feel to perform religious behaviors in spiritually abusive contexts. If you perform as they say you must: (1) it will make them look good; (2) their self-righteousness will escape the scrutiny of the cross of Christ as the only means to God’s favor; (3) it will allow them to examine you instead of themselves; (4) they will be able to “boast in” or gain a sense of validation from your religious performance. Can you see the abusive dynamic described in chapter one? Here we have religious people trying to meet their own spiritual needs through someone else’s religious performance. And it’s all cloaked in the language of being holy and helping others to live holy lives.”
― David R. Johnson, Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, The: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“Sign of an abusive system: getting angry at other's real needs.”
― Jeff VanVonderen, Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, The

“Maybe to some, the removal of recognition sounds disrespectful. The true issue is not whether you choose to use a title or not. The true issue is whether you need it—whether you have to have it. The Pharisees required it, and Jesus pointed out that this is one mark of a false spiritual leader.”
― David R. Johnson, Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, The: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“The way you can spot a false system is that the leaders require the place of honor. It is our belief that the less secure a leader is, the more important titles will be to him or her.”
― David R. Johnson, Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, The: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“When you experience spiritual abuse, find your own friends who understand and tell them about it. Get some support.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“This pastor served “in the name of Jesus,” but he didn’t serve Jesus.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“If you came today for the first time, knowing what you now know about the system, would you stay? If the answer is no, then why are you continuing to return?”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“1). Sometimes staying in a spiritually abusive system, instead of being helpful, simply props up its facade as a healthy, non-abusive system. Others may be thinking, “It can’t be that bad. If it was that bad, people would leave—right?” This type of reasoning insulates false leadership from accountability. Leaving does not kill a dead system, it just makes it look as dead as it is.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“While they are reminding you that you are not insane, and that you are not the problem, they can remind you about how you felt and what you said when you first set your limits. In an unhealthy system, it is easy to forget.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“If you find that staying in the system is costing you your own spiritual and emotional health, or the health of those you love, you should leave.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“If you find that you have been supporting something with your life that you hate with your heart—there is something you can change. You can change you.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“In Philippians 3, Paul says, “. . . let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained” (v. 16). He does not say, “Live to attain the standard.” He says, “We have attained it.” As we have seen already in our study of the Law, there is no way we can attain the standard by trying to be good standard-attainers. We meet the standard because we are in Christ.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“God is not keeping track: “And their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more” (Hebrews 10:17). He doesn’t have a problem with our struggles and pain: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction . . .” (2 Corinthians 1:3–4). We don’t need to improve on what He’s done: “In Him you have been made complete” (Colossians 2:10), and “Hence, also, He is able to save completely those who draw near to God through Him” (Hebrews 7:25). When we fail, Jesus defends us: “Since He always lives to make intercession for them” (Hebrews 7:25), and “If anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous” (1 John 2:1).”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“What is His is already ours: “We have obtained an inheritance” (Ephesians 1:11), because “The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ” (Romans 8:16–17).”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“Churches where tired, wounded people are given formulas and advice to help in time of need, or are shamed for having a need, do not represent the true King.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“That is to say, when the church acts as the body of Christ, it becomes a “safe place” in the midst of a hostile world. When it becomes a spiritual trap, it is something else—for some, it can feel like hell on earth.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“Conversely, shutting down discussion, not allowing questions, and force-feeding doctrines brings about a closed, isolated and spiritually sick environment.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“Another reason may be that the church has become ill, a storehouse for the unresolved issues of those who attend, an image-bearer of the members’ dysfunctional families of origin. This is what happens when the “can’t-talk” rule from a family system reproduces itself in a spiritual system. You can’t get well from problems you can’t admit you have. Therefore, you keep the same problems and bring them into your next relationship system. And when leaders sweep away their own or others’ problems, attitudes and questions under the facade of a “be happy” spirituality, or when they try to drive out problems with rules and formulas, the result is that whole churches get sick.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“Satan has erected fortresses in people’s lives through incest, child abuse, domestic violence, alcoholism and countless other addictions, spiritual abuse—any way he can deceive, rob and enslave. But instead of tearing down these fortresses with truth and grace, the church has fought about the color of the hymnals. We have taught classes, built buildings, served on committees, and gone to seminars so that our leaders can feel spiritually gratified. We have spent our spiritual energy bribing our children to go to church and memorize Bible verses by promising them perfect attendance pins and trophies. We have taken each others’ spiritual inventories to make sure people aren’t going to movies, wearing makeup, or chewing gum in church. We have taught people prayer recipes and formulas. If this is really our job, we are truly spiritually overdressed. Have we lost our focus? Have we left behind our true job of leading people into the grace and real empowerment that comes from dwelling simply, honestly, closely with God? Do we keep adding to the “good news” until it’s not good anymore? We believe this is so.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“Spiritual abuse has the effect of making people extremely self focused, preoccupied with doing things right and keeping happy those who are in places of authority. Recovery begins and continues with keeping our focus on God, what He has done, and who we are because of that. And in the context of open, grace-full relationships, this focus can be maintained.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“Each of us has been programmed to look outside of ourselves for the definition of our identity. The behaviors and opinions of others, our own behaviors, the things we collect—all these responses have told us who we are. In Philippians 3, Paul calls this “a mind to put confidence in the flesh.” It is at this point we must look again at Psalm 51. David, having begun at the right place spiritually—broken, poor in spirit—immediately lifts his eyes to the right source of life. He immediately asks God to intervene on his behalf. He’s not simply asking to be “fixed up,” but to be re-created: “Create in me a clean heart . . . Purify me, and I shall be clean.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“Each of us has been programmed to look outside of ourselves for the definition of our identity. The behaviors and opinions of others, our own behaviors, the things we collect—all these responses have told us who we are. In Philippians 3, Paul calls this “a mind to put confidence in the flesh.” It is at this point we must look again at Psalm 51.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“For God so loved the world! The fact that we are defective simply means that our problem is who we are—dead, helpless sinners, defective in our ability to fix our condition. Trying hard to change behaviors in order to have a positive self-concept is absolutely the wrong response. At best, it leads to more shame if we fail, or to self-righteousness if we succeed. At worst, it gives people who lack life the illusion of having life, and that we have earned God’s approval.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“You love God, and at one time you experienced His fullness. Why is this no longer your experience? In Romans 12:2 Paul says, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This means, do not be squeezed from the outside in, but be changed from the inside out. The Greek word for “transform” means to be changed the way a caterpillar turns into a butterfly. It means something that is done to you, not by you. Paul is not saying, “Change yourself.” He is saying that by a renewing of the mind you will be changed.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“And in Philippians 4:19, he says: And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“There is no test to diagnose spiritual abuse. There are only spiritual clues: lack of joy in the Christian life; tiredness from trying hard to measure up; disillusionment about God and spiritual things; uneasiness, lack of trust, or even fear of those who care about “God” things, even legitimately; a profound sense of missing your best Friend; cynicism or grief over good news that turned out to be too good to be true.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“For instance, all through Scripture, we are given instructions to obey, follow and submit to spiritual leaders. Hebrews 13:17 states: “Obey your leaders, and submit to them; for they keep watch over your souls, as those who who give an account.” In abusive systems, however, that verse is stripped of its spirit and translated legalistically to mean, “Don’t think, don’t discern, don’t question, and don’t notice problems.” If you do, you will be labeled as unsubmissive, unspiritual, and divisive.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“In those religious systems where the sheep are there for the “needs” of the shepherd, people’s lives get devoured.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“We believe that the effects of trying to live under any message that is not the authentic “good news” from God will not be merely neutral. The effects will be harmful.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

“If the message you are hearing or preaching does not lift weights off people, set people free, and reconnect people to their true source of life—then is it the gospel?”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church