The Art of Awkward Affection Quotes

“Thought killed, assassinated, nuked from orbit,”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“Maybe she was having a bad day,” Lexi said as she unwrapped the chocolate bar the saleswoman had given her. “And yeah, I could have been mean, but now maybe she’ll remember that the person she judged was actually fun and really nice, and she will be more open-minded in the future. Kindness pays dividends.”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“Several bottles. He said it was the first blow job he’d had in a decade, and he was really impressed I could take out my teeth and give him the full effect.”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“Don’t tell Walt, but the food in Manhattan might even be better than the food at Disney World.”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“Why can’t she button her top?”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“Green eyes like that were wasted on a man.”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“I don’t need you to white knight in here swinging your hot dog around with both hands, trying to prove a point.” “A hot dog?”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“Come out with me,” the guy was saying. If she agreed, I was going to lose it, not in an, I’ll-say-something-snarky way but in an I’m-going-to-jail sort of way.”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“Branch out, Lexi. You can’t get off on a Disney movie,” Grenadine lectured me.”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“Normally I liked my men like I liked my Disney princes—silent and wearing fancy military dress.”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“Yes, Florida girl here and unashamed Disney adult. It is the happiest place on Earth, after all.”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“Sometimes,” my mom said gently, “we meet someone who becomes one of the most important people in our lives, who leaves such an indelible imprint that it fundamentally changes who you are. Sometimes you marry that person, or become fast friends, but then sometimes you leave them, knowing that they have forever changed you. Maybe that’s you and Grayson.”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“I wasn’t catcalling you. I said that you were looking good. I didn’t yell out, ‘Clap those cheeks’ or ‘Daddy, let me hit that.’ Now that’s a catcall.”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“Compliments make the world a better place.”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“I believed that you must be the change you want to see in the world.”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection

“The best way to feel better,” I told him firmly, “is to focus energy outside yourself. Doing good deeds can help you turn that frown upside down. You can’t feel bad when you’re making others happy.”
― Alina Jacobs, The Art of Awkward Affection