Naughty Quotes

“Minutes later, he and Mrs. Claus were in the air, headed for Sweden behind a team of young back-up reindeer. "Now, Pac-Man! Now, Disco! Now, Yoda and Vader!" Mrs. Claus called out, giving the reins a gentle snap. "On, Ford! On Carter! On, Alda and Nader!”
― Steve Hockensmith, Naughty

“I was beginning to wonder if this guy was capable of saying anything that didn't sound like a creepy innuendo. Maybe it was a rare medical condition and he just couldn't help himself, like Tourette's but sexual. Pervmo Syndrome.”
― Steve Hockensmith, Naughty

“I kept hoping to see an ad in the classifieds that suited me. You know. "Over-Educated Smart-Ass Wanted to Talk About Books and Movies and Stuff.”
― Steve Hockensmith, Naughty

“If you think about it, Santa Claus is a little like Batman. He's a vigilante.”
― Steve Hockensmith, Naughty

“He'd be like Tonto with a bong, a brain-damaged Dr. Watson, Robin the Boy Wonder with Attention Deficit Disorder.”
― Steve Hockensmith, Naughty

“It hadn't turned out at all like the picture in the cookbook, that loaf. It looked like a roll of fiberglass insulation coated in gravel.”
― Steve Hockensmith, Naughty