Dave Barry's Money Secrets Quotes

“Surgery, clamps, sutures, bandages, antibiotics Mop Sucking chest wound Anesthesia, surgery Cork Cancer Chemotherapy, radiation, surgery Casket wreath* 13 Diabetes Insulin Leeches* 14 Hatchet embedded in skull Removal of hatchet, treatment of wound Larger hat Eyes gouged out in hospital by psychopath posing as nurse Prosthetic eyeballs, therapy Six-pack Source:”
― Dave Barry, Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?

“sutures, bandages, antibiotics Mop Sucking chest wound Anesthesia, surgery Cork Cancer Chemotherapy, radiation, surgery Casket wreath* 13 Diabetes Insulin Leeches* 14 Hatchet embedded in skull Removal of hatchet, treatment of wound Larger hat Eyes gouged out in hospital by psychopath posing as nurse Prosthetic eyeballs, therapy Six-pack Source:”
― Dave Barry, Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?

“Casket wreath* 13 Diabetes Insulin Leeches* 14 Hatchet embedded in skull Removal of hatchet, treatment of wound Larger”
― Dave Barry, Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?

“If you check this box, $3 of your taxes will be earmarked for a special fund to pay for presidential campaigns. Notice that the government does not permit you to earmark money for poor people, or sick people, or national defense. No, the government permits you to earmark money only for the purpose of enabling politicians to produce TV commercials designed to appeal to voters who have the IQ of a Vienna sausage.”
― Dave Barry, Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?

“People are unbelievably stupid. You can get them to buy anything, if you market it right.”
― Dave Barry, Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?

“Remember the part in Peter Pan where we clap to prove that we believe in fairies, and we save Tinker Bell? That’s our monetary system! It’s the Tinker Bell System!”
― Dave Barry, Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?