The Essential Bogosian Quotes

“Who else?... He’s dead. . . .He’s dead. He’s literally dead. ... He fell off his boat in Malibu, a shark ate him. Of course it’s ironic, of course it’s ironic, Arnie, what are you telling me ironic? They had to cancel the whole series.... Arnie, I would love to do the deal with you, I’m sorry the fish ate the guy... go talk to the shark....HE’S DIGESTED, HE’S NOT AVAILABLE!”
― Eric Bogosian, The Essential Bogosian: Talk Radio, Drinking in America, FunHouse and Men Inside

“You’re pathetic. I despise each and every one of you.... You’ve got nothing. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No brains. No power. No future. No hope. No God. The only thing you believe in is me. What are you if you don’t have me? I’m not afraid, see. I come up here every night and I make my case, I make my point.... I say what I believe in. I have to, I have no choice, you frighten me! I come up here every night and I tear into you, I abuse you, I insult you... and you just keep calling. Why do you keep coming back, what’s wrong with you? I don’t want to hear any more, I’ve had enough. Stop talking. Don’t call anymore! Go away! Bunch of yellow-bellied, spineless, bigoted, quivering, drunken, insomniatic, paranoid, disgusting, perverted, voyeuristic little obscene phone callers. That’s what you are. Well, to hell with ya.... I don’t need your fear and your stupidity. You don’t get it.... It’s wasted on you. Pearls before swine....(Catches his breath) If one person out there had any idea what I’m talking about... (Suddenly starts taking callers again) Fred, you’re on!”
― Eric Bogosian, The Essential Bogosian: Talk Radio, Drinking in America, FunHouse and Men Inside

“CALLER Are you as ugly looking as you sound? BARRY Uglier. CALLER Yeah, I thought you’d say something like that. But as usual you avoid the question... BARRY (Pause) What’s the question? CALLER I think you know the question. BARRY Is it animal, vegetable, or mineral? CALLER The question is obvious, why does an intelligent fellow like yourself spend so much energy hurting other people? Do you not love yourself? BARRY People who love themselves are in love with a fool. CALLER Well put. Good night, Barry. (Click) BARRY (Stares at his microphone. He’s feeling trapped.) “Nighttalk.” Allan.”
― Eric Bogosian, The Essential Bogosian: Talk Radio, Drinking in America, FunHouse and Men Inside

“CHRIS Don’t you think that without some kind of belief in God our actions in this world are meaningless? It would just be physics and chemicals without God... just shapes and colors... BARRY Shapes and colors? Come on! Chris! We been reading William Blake? CHRIS I think you do believe in God. BARRY Oh, you do? CHRIS Yes, you believe in God. BARRY Really? What makes you so sure? CHRIS It’s simple. You think you are God. And aren’t you ashamed?”
― Eric Bogosian, The Essential Bogosian: Talk Radio, Drinking in America, FunHouse and Men Inside

“CHRIS Good evening, Barry. BARRY Yeah? CHRIS Some people think God is dead. Do you think God is dead, Barry? BARRY I happen to know that God is alive and well and living in Gary, Indiana.”
― Eric Bogosian, The Essential Bogosian: Talk Radio, Drinking in America, FunHouse and Men Inside

“Is Howard Stern Barry Champlain? I hope not, for Stern’s sake. As far as I know, this play is not based on one man’s life; rather, I meant it to be a quilt of madness from the late eighties, a play about voices in the dark. Remember: sticks and stones can break your bones, but words cause permanent damage.”
― Eric Bogosian, The Essential Bogosian: Talk Radio, Drinking in America, FunHouse and Men Inside