Anger Quotes

“First, acknowledge the reality of anger. In the course of marriage, each of us will experience anger from time to time. Some of this anger will be definitive, spurred by wrong action on the part of the spouse. Some of this anger also will be distorted, stimulated by a misunderstanding of what happened. We will each experience a fair share of both types of anger. This is a part of being human and living life with each other.”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion

“When we sin against others, it is our responsibility to confess and repent of our own sins. We should take the initiative as soon as we realize that we have done or said something unfairly to another. Thus, it will be clear to the astute reader that whether I have sinned against someone else or someone has sinned against me, it is my responsibility to take the initiative to seek reconciliation. If I have sinned against someone, very likely the person is experiencing anger toward me. If the person has sinned against me, then I am the one experiencing anger. In God’s plan, anger is designed to motivate us to take constructive action in seeking to right the wrong and restore the fellowship with the other person.”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion

“I believe the answer lies in taking two decisive steps. First, commit or release the person who has sinned against you to God, letting God take care of that person rather than insisting that you pay him back for the wrongful action. The Scriptures teach that vengeance belongs to God, not to man. (See Romans 12:19.) The reason for this is that God alone knows everything about the other person, not only his actions but his motives. And God alone is judge. So the person who is eaten up with bitterness toward another who has treated him unfairly is to release that person to an all-knowing heavenly Father who is fully capable of doing what is just and right toward that person. The apostle Paul demonstrated this when he said to young Timothy, “Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm, but the Lord will judge him for what he has done. Be careful of him, for he fought against everything we said” (2 Timothy 4:14–15). Not only had Paul not forgiven Alexander because Alexander had not repented, but Paul warned Timothy to be on his guard because Alexander may also treat him unjustly. Paul did not whitewash the matter by offering an easy forgiveness to Alexander. Instead, he did the responsible thing by turning Alexander over to God. After Paul made this decision, I don’t think he lost any sleep over Alexander. His anger was processed by the conscious act of turning the offender over to a just and merciful God.”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion

“A second reality of forgiveness is that forgiveness does not remove all of my painful emotions. My wife may well forgive me, but when she thinks about what I did, she may once again feel disappointment and anger toward me. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment to accept the person in spite of what he or she has done. It is a decision not to demand justice but to show mercy; that is what the forgiving wife (or husband) must do. Nor does forgiveness mean that I will never think of the situation again. Because every event in life is recorded in the brain, there is every potential that the event will return to the conscious mind again and again.”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion

“The next step is that the person who has sinned must repent; that is, she must confess the wrong committed and express a desire to turn from practicing that wrong in the future. If this is done, then Jesus said we are to forgive the person. We are to lift the penalty and receive the individual back into a restored relationship with us. And we begin the process of rebuilding trust. We refuse to allow someone’s misdeed to keep us away from her, and we do not allow our feelings of hurt and disappointment to control our behavior toward her. We forgive her in the same manner that God has forgiven us and in the same manner that we hope she would forgive us if we sinned against her.”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion

“As we’ve discussed, it is usually best to give yourself time to cool down emotionally before you make this rebuke. But to think that you are going to be totally calm when you have been sinned against in such a radical way is to be unrealistic. However, you must be careful not to sin in your rebuke. You must treat the person as one for whom Christ died. You must exhibit Christian love so that your deepest desire is that the person will confess and repent of her wrong so that you may extend forgiveness.”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion

“For example, God’s call to Israel was, “‘This is what the LORD says: ‘… Come home to me again, for I am merciful. I will not be angry with you forever. Only acknowledge your guilt. Admit that you rebelled against the LORD your God. … Return home, you wayward children’ says the LORD, ‘for I am your master’” (Jeremiah 3:12–14). Never does God agree to reconcile while Israel continues in sin. There can be no reconciliation without repentance. In the New Testament, Jesus expressed the same reality when He said, “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones God’s messengers! How often I have wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn’t let me. And now, look, your house is abandoned and desolate” (Matthew 23:37–38). God cannot be reconciled to those who are unwilling to turn to Him. There is no scriptural evidence that God ever forgave anyone who did not repent of sin and turn in faith to Him.”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion

“God’s forgiveness toward us serves as a model of how we are to forgive others. The Scriptures say that we are to forgive each other, “just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32). In this divine model, there are two essential elements—confession and repentance on the part of the sinner and forgiveness on the part of the one sinned against. In the Scriptures, these two are never separated.”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion

“Definition: “Implosive” anger is internalized anger that is never expressed. Sparked by: Fear of confrontation; belief that feeling or expressing anger is wrong. How to recognize: Person denies that he or she is angry; responds by withdrawing; says things like, “I’m not angry, but I’m disappointed.” Results: Physiological and psychological stress; “passive-aggressive” behavior; can lead to resentment, bitterness, and even hatred and violence.”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion

“The teenager has internalized the hurt and anger and has developed resentment, bitterness, and now hatred toward the father. I have also heard more than one wife say, “I hate my husband,” and I’ve heard husbands express the same about their wives. Without exception, hatred does not develop overnight. Hatred is the result of internalized anger that remains planted in the heart of the individual.”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion

“Beverly is obviously experiencing intense anger. Because she believes anger to be “unchristian,” she doesn’t want to call it anger, so she uses the word upset. However, the real denial was in her conversation with her brother. She gave him the impression that his actions were acceptable, whereas in reality she found them to be unacceptable. He doesn’t know that she is angry; but, in fact, she is seething inside with anger. If she doesn’t change her approach, the bombs of implosion will become deeply rooted inside of her and in due time her life will collapse. (See the likely results of implosive anger in next section”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion

“This “silent treatment,” the withdrawal and avoidance, may last for a day or for years. The longer it continues, the more certain it is that resentment and bitterness will grow and fester. Often this internalized anger will express itself in what the psychologists call passive-aggressive behavior. The person is passive on the outside, trying to give the appearance that nothing is bothering him, but eventually the anger emerges in other ways, such as failure to comply with a request the other person makes.”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion

“But even more than denial, withdrawal is the central strategy of the people who struggle with implosive anger. While admitting anger to themselves and others, they withdraw from the person or situation that stirred up the anger. The idea is not denial—but distance. If I can stay away from the person or at least not talk to him when I am with him, perhaps my anger will diminish with time, the angry individual reassures herself. If the offending person notices the silent withdrawal and asks, “Is something wrong?” the withdrawer will respond, “No. What makes you think something’s wrong?” If the person pursues the issue by saying, “Well, you’ve been quieter than usual. You haven’t asked me about my day and you haven’t said anything about yours,” the withdrawer may respond, “I’m just tired. I had a hard day,” as she walks out of the room.”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion

“All of us experience anger for the reasons noted in earlier chapters. But holding anger inside by denying, withdrawing, and brooding is not the Christian response to anger. In fact, to do so is to violate the clear teachings of Scripture. Bitterness is the result of stored anger, and the Bible warns us against bitterness. (For example, see Acts 8:23; Romans 3:14; Hebrews 12:15.)”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion

“I’ve got something that has been bothering me. In fact, I guess I would have to say I’m feeling angry. Perhaps I am misunderstanding the situation, but when you have an opportunity, I’d like to talk with you about it.”
― Gary Chapman, Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion