The Defining Decade Quotes

“Клиническим психологам известно, что из всех этапов жизненного пути возраст от двадцати до тридцати лет — лучший для того, чтобы измениться.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter - And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“Знание — это не навык. Навык — это знание плюс 10 000 повторений. Синьити Судзуки, преподаватель музыки”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter - And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“before I was in my forties. If you’re still doing this”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“did not want to “just have some office job and work nine to five like everyone else.” Ian was on a sneaky search for glory. He suffered less from the tyranny of the should than he did from the tyranny of the should-not. His”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“confusion. Twentysomethings like Ian were raised”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“the years that were ahead. As he said, this made action impossible. Because Ian didn’t know that twentysomethings who make choices are happier than those who tread water, he kept himself confused. This was easy to do. Ian hung out with an indecisive crowd. At the bike shop where he worked, his friends assured him he didn’t need to make decisions”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“can really rescue you, and you have to do something. Not knowing what you want to”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“quickly. Afterward, things are not so easy. The twenties are that critical period of adulthood. These are the years when it will be easiest to start the lives we want. And no matter what we do, the twenties are an inflection point—the great reorganization—a”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“their own grandchildren. Parents like Kate’s are so intent on protecting their kids from their brand of the midlife crisis—their regret over settling down too soon—that these parents fail to see an entirely new midlife crisis is afoot. The postmillennial midlife crisis is figuring out that while we were busy making”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“to look twenty-nine. The young look older and the old look younger, collapsing the adult lifespan into one long twentysomething ride. Even a new term—amortality—has been coined to describe living the same way, at the same pitch, from our teens until death. This is a contradictory and dangerous message. We are led to believe the twentysomething years don’t matter, yet, with the glamorization of and near obsession with the twenties, there is little to remind us that anything else ever will. This causes too many men and women to squander the most transformative years of their adult lives, only to pay the price in decades to come. Our cultural attitude toward the twenties is something like good old American irrational exuberance. Twenty-first-century twentysomethings have grown up alongside the dot-com craze, the supersize years, the housing”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“Even as they feel pressured to get out there and live their best lives, many are unsure about whether their government—or their planet—will survive.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter—And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“When something difficult happens at work, you can answer your emotional brain with reason. Feelings aren’t facts, you know. Ask yourself: ‘What about the facts?”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“First, Danielle needed to change how she thought about her difficult moments. When things went wrong on the job, Danielle immediately imagined the worst. This is what psychologists call catastrophic thinking and, for her, the big catastrophes were being fired and having to wait tables. This wasn’t rational. Jobs—and relationships—usually aren’t that fragile. And, even if she did lose her job, I wasn’t sure why she would be waiting tables as a result. Danielle needed to hold on to these realities. And she needed to reframe the tough days as just winds blowing by, as well as remind herself that the weather would likely improve.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“Danielle may not have had control over every situation at work, but she could control how she interpreted those situations and how she responded to them.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“Viktor Frankl describes his time in a Nazi concentration camp. While there, he said, his experiences—and those of others around him—taught him that our attitudes and reactions are the last of our human freedoms.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“Danielle’s worries kept her from feeling surprised, but they did so by keeping her body in a chronically negatively aroused state. Sustained worrying drives the heart rate up. It raises our levels of stress hormones, making us anxious in the short run and depressed in the long run.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“Danielle knew these worries didn’t actually prevent problems, but continuously imagining the worst did protect her from being caught off-guard when something did go wrong: “I’ll do anything not to feel that awful Blitz feeling,” she said.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“can be rooted in the confidence that problems can be solved, or at least survived.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“As we age, we feel less like leaves and more like trees. We have roots—and experiences—that ground us and sturdy trunks that may sway, but don’t break, in the wind.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“MRI studies show that twentysomething brains react more strongly to negative information than do the brains of older adults.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“We become more interested in positive information, and our brains react less strongly to what negative information we do encounter. We disengage with interpersonal conflict, choosing to let it be, especially when those in our network are involved.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“The brain feels shocked—and endangered—so it “takes a picture” in order to be more prepared in the future.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“When something surprising or upsetting happens, we tend to remember it—vividly—for a long time. Some researchers call these remembrances “flashbulb memories” because they feel illuminated and frozen in time,”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“Every day I feel like I’m going to be fired. Or I’m going to disappoint someone. They are going to figure out they don’t need me. That I don’t belong here. Like I’ve lied on my résumé or something and I’m just pretending to be a grown-up. Then I’ll be waiting tables somewhere.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“When we try to do something new, we don’t know what we’re doing. That’s the biggest challenge. —Jeffrey Kalmikoff, designer”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“Having your attention drawn away from who you are and who you want to be is the antithesis of living an intentional life. If you don’t pay attention to what you are doing in the moment, the years will pass you by.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“As twentysomethings, time is one of your most valuable resources, and how you spend it matters, both in the here-and-now and in the there-and-then.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“There are more and more influencers who educate their followers about climate change, healthy lifestyles, and world events. I am thankful for what I have learned through Instagram and YouTube and the habits they have helped me develop. Still, I have noticed that a social-media-free life does make me feel better and more liberated. I guess it is all about the content one consumes and whether you can find the right balance between being online and offline.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“Remember: Whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the easiest time to change it.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

“our twenties are the capstone of this last critical period, they are, as one neurologist said, a time of “great risk and great opportunity.” The post-twentysomething brain is still plastic, of course, but the opportunity is that never again in our lifetime will the brain offer up countless new connections and see what we make of them. Never again will we be so quick to learn new things. Never again will it be so easy to become the people we hope to be. So whatever it is we want to change about ourselves, our twenties are the easiest time to change it. The risk is that we may not act now.”
― Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now