Awakening Quotes

“Shit, and shit, and shit again, he thought as Brandon’s arms wrapped around him and dragged them to the floor with the unfettered force of their passion. I’m in love. God help me, I’m in love.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“He climbed out of the car, feeling stiff and awkward with that hot heavy weight between his legs, that miserable unsatisfied ball of need. Better play it cool, though; if Jonathan knew how bad off he was, the teasing would last for hours. Sadists smelled desperation as surely as sharks scented blood in the water. And Jonathan was very much at the top of his particular food chain.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“Are you ready for the men you work with—the men whose boss you’ll be—to start cal ing you the billionaire’s boy toy behind your back?”
“I’m eight months older than you,” Brandon said with a little lip-quirk, “so technically, that makes you my boy toy.”
God, you adorable smartass . . .”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“So what if their way of expressing those things meant hand-feedings and floggings and collars and cages? Whatever this . . . thing was between them, it was . . . Fuck it, it was beautiful, and so what if that made him sound like a sissy or an idiot or whatever else his dad might try to knock him down with, because nothing two people could do together to make each other so happy could possibly be shameful.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“What the fuck had come over him, behaving like that? Like some spoiled child, just like Jonathan had said. He’d deserved that rough fuck in the bathroom, the cage still around his dick. Needed it to remind him of who he was, who he wanted to be, to keep him from doing things that made him feel awful about himself.
Things that made him feel undisciplined. Out of control.
He went back into the living room, over to the bar, where Jonathan was pouring himself a drink. Sank to his knees on the cold, hard floor and held up the cane.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“It hurt, God fuck did Jonathan know how to make things hurt, but once the tears were gone, only smiles remained, because Bran knew he’d given Jonathan a reason to seek the release he so desperately needed—to stop for just a moment, unwind, take care of himself, have a few minutes’ pleasure among the sixteen-hour days he’d been putting in to get ready for the trip.
And Bran didn’t mind doing that for him. Fuck “didn’t mind.”
He loved it, loved knowing he could give that to Jonathan—give him something the man wasn’t even capable, just now, of giving to himself. Loved knowing he was strong enough to take it for Jonathan.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“what I really, truly want from you, Brandon? One of the greatest gifts you could give me? Is your suffering.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“These last three and a half months, you’ve had two masters. I’ve had to share you with your anger, your pride, your fear, your insecurities—emotions that have ruled you since your mother died. For all your pretense of independence, you’ve never truly been free.”
Ah— there was a flash of anger. But quickly smothered. Confusion, then, and struggle. To understand? To accept?
“You’ve not spoken to your father your whole adult life, and yet still he’s haunting you. Driving you. The voice inside your head, am I right?”—and yes, by the widening of Brandon’s eyes, he was—“that told you to hate yourself, bury your feelings, hide your shame. That stopped you from trusting again, from opening up and loving again. That told you not to waste time with frivolities like pleasure. That pushed you ever on, no matter the cost.”
Brandon ducked his head again—or tried to, at least, cheeks and ears flaming, something hunted and dangerous lurking in his eyes.
Jonathan met it head-on. “You never controlled that voice, Brandon; it controlled you. So of course you couldn’t lay down your control at my feet. It wasn’t yours to give.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“Jonathan swallowed hard and pulled his hand away— Brandon’s own hand came up to stop him, caught him by the wrist and guided his palm back to his face. He tucked his cheek against Jonathan’s slack fingers, closed his eyes. Took a shuddery breath, cleared his throat, and said, “I do trust you, Jonathan. I do.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“If you can’t even acknowledge the truth, how can you face it? If you can’t face it, how can you learn to live with it? Live in it, be happy with it? Comfortable in your own skin.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“I guess it tells me I’ve learned to expect the worst, Jonathan.” Sad. A sigh, almost. He shrugged. “At least that way I’m never disappointed.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening