Unhinged Quotes

“I’m taking your cameo in my recurring nightmare as consent, but if I’m wrong… I dunno, like, jiggle in your frame or something.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“Shine bright, you smutty diamond, the world needs more women like you.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“A pang of sorrow coursed through me at the idea Tana was avoiding me, at least as much as someone could “avoid” their own front door.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“Something about being called a good door made my human legs feel weak and shaky.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“My big, strong door. You did such a good job protecting me, saving me, making me feel so amazing.” My hips had started to lightly thrust into her hand, and she adjusted her grip seamlessly, moving blissfully faster now as she murmured praise to me. “Now I need you to do something for me, can you be a good boy and come for me?”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“I’ve definitely fucking lost it. Oh well, it’ll make a good story in group therapy when they toss me in an asylum.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“So, Hera also said that you’ll turn back into a door every full moon, so we’ll need to repeat this when you transform so I can bring you back with my magic pussy.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“Tana studied me for a long moment, her eyes soft. “Thank you, Drys. You’ve done so much already. You were a very good door, I hope you know that.” Something about being called a good door made my human legs feel weak and shaky. I nodded before continuing to the bedroom, grateful my new jeans and boxer-briefs were better at concealing my arousal than the sweatpants had been.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“Drys, I think you’re allowed to steal a kiss, sweetheart. I kind of buried your knob in my pussy like, a few hours ago.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“Well, looks like I’m just kinky, you’re still a door. Damn, I am way more kinky than I thought I was. God that was good, though. Screw it, I’m going to eat more of those fuckin popsicles before bed.” She snickered, sliding off the ottoman and stumbling down the hall with a blissful expression.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“But, I mean, it can’t hurt anything, right? I mean, women fuck cucumbers and bedposts and balloons and shit. This isn’t that weird, right?”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“It’s not that I think you’re gonna knock me up with little, uh, trapdoors, or something, it’s that I only trust lysol so much and doorknobs are kinda germ magnets. No offense. Hopefully that doesn’t fuck with the mojo but I don’t need to explain a UTI from this.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“Anyway, tonight, by Hera’s grace, you can enter your girl's dreams. You'll need to make your case and convince her to - well, to do what I did with that knothole.” The man cleared his throat awkwardly. “The catch is, however, that it needs to happen while you’re in this form to set you free. But I have faith in you, son.You’ve got your old man’s charm, after all.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“Wrapping my round brass protrusion in a soft cloth and a firm grip, she started polishing my knob with slow, smooth strokes that stirred something deep in my wood.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“She wore a lopsided grin, clearly not taking me seriously. “A favor, huh? So, what, do you want me to oil your hinges?”
It was my turn to blush at the obvious flirtation in her tone, a highly unusual sensation. It felt like the afternoon sun on my painted front, only concentrated in my now-human cheeks. “In a manner of speaking. The man that offered me this-” I pointed back and forth between us, “-said that we must be together. In the way you are with your shivering blue stick.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“I am made of solid oak, not pressboard, and none of your other doors are like I am. I am your protector-”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“This one’s for the reader that declared in a Facebook group that she uses ctrl + f to search for the word “cock” at the start of a story to make sure she doesn’t get tricked into reading a “closed door” romance by mistake. Shine bright, you smutty diamond, the world needs more women like you.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“I threw caution to the wind, clasping her soft hand against my cheek and turning my head to kiss her palm. “I have no name but yours, Tana. I am your faithful guardian and protector, nothing more, nothing less. I am your door, and I love you.”
“My…door? I don’t understand. Is that like a metaph-” She frowned, brow knitting in confusion again.
“Your door. To your apartment.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“formica.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“this “sweating” thing was almost as annoying as my floppy human spine.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“And…well, there’s a pretty decent chance you may be, you know, my son. Of sorts. See, a lot of things happened in that grove and there was this perfectly-positioned knothole on this really sexy tree and the mead was flowing freely-” he gestured in a rolling circle with his hand. “You get the point.”
I did not, in fact, get the point,”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“As a door, I didn’t know when I fell in love with Tana, only that I most assuredly was. It might have been the first time she’d laid her soft fingertips on the cool brass of my knob, the day she first toured the apartment I faithfully guarded.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“As a door, I didn’t know when I fell in love with Tana,”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“As a door, I didn’t know when I fell in love with Tana, only that I most assuredly was. It might have been the first time she’d laid her soft fingertips on the cool brass of my knob,”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“While I would much rather have had her soft hands - or more - on my knob, I was relieved she seemed to be taking my warnings seriously.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“As a door, I didn’t know when I fell in love with Tana, only that I most assuredly was.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“even as sturdy as I was, I’d never felt more helpless.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“Now, onto the good stuff!”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“And…well, there’s a pretty decent chance you may be, you know, my son. Of sorts. See, a lot of things happened in that grove and there was this perfectly-positioned knothole on this really sexy tree and the mead was flowing freely-”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged

“Try as I might, I couldn’t hold back my deadbolt, which slid free with excitement at the touch of her soft cheek.”
― Vera Valentine, Unhinged