Drunk Text Quotes

“It's painfully obvious to both of us that you're dangerously close to a sexless-related meltdown. And I went to Alibi last girls' night and there were plenty of straight people there, too, you know, but um. I mean, there were also lots of—"

"People!" Jon shouts, "Plenty of people. With, uh, orifices.”
― seventhswan, Drunk Text

“Now listen, Gunnar," Cara is saying, "Jon told me you thought you needed to move out, but you don't have to, you know. It's not a big deal. Plus, we'll be engaged for a while before we actually get married so it's not—"

"Actually, Vance asked me to move in with him," Gunnar says, going for casual and missing it by a mile.

Cara steps back, eyebrows raised, "Wanna run that by me again?"

"Vance. He asked me to move in with him."

"And you said?"

"I said yes."

Cara lets out a shriek that sends Jon and Gunnar into a defensive crouch. "That's. Well that's fantastic, Gunnar. I didn't think you had it in you!"

"Oh, thanks so much," Gunnar says (although to be fair, even he didn't think he had it in him).”
― seventhswan, Drunk Text