An Unexpected Twist Quotes

“A surgeon is like a car mechanic — you only know how good he is after the job is done.”
― Andy Borowitz, An Unexpected Twist

“Nine months earlier, when Olivia and I were exchanging wedding vows, we made absolutely no mention of shoving enemas up each other's asses. And yet here we are. This is what it means to love and be loved.”
― Andy Borowitz, An Unexpected Twist

“now, every morning when I wake up, I do two things: I look out the window at the city, the beautiful city, the sun rising over it. And then I look at my beautiful wife sleeping next to me. And I realize at that moment that I've got today, and I have everything.”
― Andy Borowitz, An Unexpected Twist

“artisanal way — I'm given a hospital room,”
― Andy Borowitz, An Unexpected Twist