Life, Loss, and Puffins Quotes

“I figure, we used to be part of our mother’s body. I mean, we did. I don’t just figure we did. That part is a given, but this next part is what I figure. She breathed for us, and pumped blood through us. And there’s only one person in the entire world we can say that about. So we’re less separate from our mothers than anybody else on the planet. We’re not literally one body with them anymore, but I think we carry this really instinctive subconscious memory of the time when we were. Until we could breathe on our own there was no surviving without her. And even when we came out into the world we would have died without her care. Actually somebody else could have cared for us at that point, but we didn’t know it. We just knew she did. So when we lose our mother, it’s different. It’s just different from any other loss. And it isn’t all about what a great relationship it was. It isn’t necessarily a loss of all these wonderful things you shared. It’s not only with the best mother-child bonds. It’s all of them. If it was great, you miss that. If it was troublesome, you suddenly realize the door has been slammed on it ever being any better way. So no matter what it was, it’s really hard to lose. Anyway, that’s my observation from watching both my parents lose their mothers.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“I can’t decide that for you. But it’s something to think about.” So I thought about it. I thought about it so much that night that I only got a couple hours of sleep and I was super tired in all my classes the next day. But here’s the problem: I thought about it. I thought about how I have a problem with thinking too much. Leave it to me to think I can solve a thinking problem by thinking.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“So she went on. “You hear the word, and you know what it means in a purely intellectual sense. But you don’t really know what people mean when they say it. You don’t know how they feel. You watch people have fun and it’s like listening to a conversation in a foreign language.” I realized as she spoke that my mouth was open. Thank goodness there was no meatball sub in there at the moment. “How did you know all that?” I asked. “I was an intellectually gifted child myself.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“Then I started thinking about what would happen if the mama bird never came back. What if something happened to her? What would the babies do? Were they even old enough to survive on their own? After a minute I realized I was crying, which was utterly weird, because I never did. Maybe when I was a baby-baby, but even when I was a toddler, I just never cried. But that day I did, and over some baby birds I couldn’t even see. Except it wasn’t really about the birds. Any idiot could figure that out.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“At the time I’m sure I would have sworn I was handling all this beautifully, but for a beautiful handler there sure were a lot of things I couldn’t bring myself to say. “I knew what you meant,” Gabriel said. That might have been the beginning of a pattern I had with him. I would say something, then clarify the something, only to learn that he’d understood perfectly all along. Probably because I was so used to saying things that hit other people like a complex alien language.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“And I think the reason we got so brave and adventurous is because within every living soul is the instinct to live—really live—before you die.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“They always say you can’t change the people around you. I think they must mean you can’t change really deep things about their nature, and you can’t make them change in just the ways you want them to change. But it seems to me you can’t help but change the people you come in contact with. It might be small changes, but their lives can’t possibly be just exactly what they were if you had never been there at all.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“I was surprised because, like I said, he tends to ask the more skate-under-the-radar questions. The ones other people miss.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“Why do you wear eye makeup?” I asked. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked, but I was just curious. I hoped I hadn’t sounded like I was judging. I was just curious. “It’s just me. It’s who I am. It makes me feel more like myself. You know? Why? Does it bother you?” “No, not at all. Why would it bother me? I was just curious because you weren’t wearing any before. You know. At lunch.” “My mom told me I couldn’t.” “Oh. She thought I would care?” “I think she thought your mother might mind. And we really need to rent out that room. We need the money.” “Oh. That must be weird to have somebody tell you not to do a thing that makes you feel like yourself.” “It is,” he said. “It’s also the story of my life.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“dropped”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“such. It was like she was always dressed up on top but the part of her below the waist didn’t get the memo.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“They always say you can’t change the people around you. I think they must mean you can’t change really deep things about their nature, and you can’t make them change in just the ways you want them to change. But it seems to me you can’t help but change the people you come in contact with. It might be small changes, but their lives can’t possibly be just exactly what they were if you had never been there at all. Get it now?”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“Because, I guess, when you’re a puffin, any person with a bucket of fish is an old friend.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“Oh. You must be more of an extrovert than I am.” “I guess. I only know how it feels to be me.” “Yeah,” I said. “That’s the universal, quintessential problem humanity faces.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“Have you noticed how much time human beings waste saying things they know the other person will agree with, just to hear the agreement? I’ve noticed that.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“Anyway, it was good, though I expect it might have tasted better without the side of abject misery.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“homelessness is addictive, because nobody expects anything of you. You have no appointments. No responsibilities. I didn’t understand that at all.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“Again, not like the silly sort of magic that doesn’t exist, but like the kind of everyday magic the universe is so famous for. I mean, if you’re really paying attention.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“I think when God wants to torment you he gives you extra brain, and when he wants to bless you he gives you extra heart.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“all these wonderful things you shared. It’s not only with the best mother-child bonds. It’s all of them. If it was great, you miss that. If it was troublesome, you suddenly realize the door has been slammed on it ever being any better way. So no matter what it was, it’s really hard to lose. Anyway, that’s my observation from watching both my parents lose their mothers.” “It’s a good observation,” I said.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“I closed the door, flung the precious scarf around my eyes, and fell facedown on the bed again. My only real commitment to comfort was to turn my head slightly so I could breathe. And that was the way I stayed until morning.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“I’m a big fan of letting people think what they want. It saves tons of time and aggravation, and it seems to make them happy.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“It’s funny how bleak the world looks on an empty stomach, and how benign that same view can appear after a big meal.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“panacea for that. I guess I let them oversell it to me. I thought I’d be all tingly with educational stimulation and excitement because I was finally in an environment where the learning was happening at my level.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“eidetic”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“I think in truth I was crying because I realized I was no longer a child. I was an adult with a job. I had no mommy to go home to even if I’d wanted to. Even though I had Gabriel, he was busy busing tables and washing dishes. I was alone the way everyone is alone when they die, even if they’re surrounded by family and friends. I was in a place in my life where I had to function as an adult and no one could help me.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“That was when I realized that kids were one thing and I was something else. Everyone else started catching on soon after.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“It was clean, though. Painfully, obsessively clean. The kind of clean that seems to indicate mental issues on the part of the cleaner.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“Had we ever meant to be this adventurous? Was it really the plan to travel someplace so close to uninhabitable that we could die simply by being exposed to it?”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins

“So just let him think what he wants?” “I think so,” I said. “Yeah. I’m a big fan of letting people think what they want. It saves tons of time and aggravation, and it seems to make them happy.”
― Catherine Ryan Hyde, Life, Loss, and Puffins