Closing Time Quotes

“For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time

“I will give you intelligence," submitted the Creator, "enough knowledge to destroy everything on earth, but you will have to use it."
"Done!" said our ancestor and that was our Genesis.”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time

“When I learned you were sick , I finally felt old for the first time. You will recover, and I never will.”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time

“Finding Yossarian there in the hospital and seeing all that he's up to, with that enthusiastic blonde for a friend and that pregnant nurse who wants him to marry her, with Patrick Beach and his wife there, and with something secret going on between Yossarian and that blonde, as well as between Yossarian and the woman married to Patrick Beach, and with McBride with his fiancée dropping in regularly too, and their talk about the bus terminal and the crazy wedding scheduled there, and with those two tons of caviar on order - all that and more leave me with the sheepish remorse that I've missed out on much, and that now that I no longer have it, mere happiness was not enough.”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time

“A psychiatrist interviewed me alone and asked if I liked girls. I liked them so much I fucked them, I answered.”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time

“From the lofty picture windows in his high-rise apartment, Yossarian commanded an unobstructed view of another luxury apartment building with an even higher rise than his own”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time

“For war there is always enough. It’s peace that’s too expensive.”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time: The Sequel to Catch-22

“Introduced and tabled for more comprehensive discussion at future meetings were such topics as the art of fund-raising, the art of the deal, the artistry of publicity, the art of social climbing, the art of fashion designing, the art of the costume, the art of catering, and the art of conducting without dissension and bringing to a close on time a meeting lasting two hours that was pleasant, uneventful, unsurprising, and unnecessary.”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time: The Sequel to Catch-22

“Сорокачасовая рабочая неделя стала вехой социальной реформы, преимущества которой я едва успел оценить, и шагом к благосостоянию, которое мои дети и внуки принимают как нечто само собой разумеющееся. Это мои приёмные дети, потому что, когда мы встретились с Глендой, она уже сделала себе операцию по перевязке труб. Вдруг оказалось, что те места, где мы работаем, закрываются по субботам. И в пятницу мы могли не ложиться допоздна. Целые семьи могли теперь гулять целые уикэнды. Законы о минимальной заработной плате и о детском труде тоже стали подарками от ФДР в рамках его Нового курса, хотя последний и казался туманным. Только в колледже я узнал, что в индустриализированном западном мире детей двенадцати лет и младше повсеместно и всегда заставляли работать по двенадцать и больше часов в день в угольных шахтах и на фабриках.”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time

“Then you might as well take up with one of our widows or divorcées. They can be manipulated but never exploited. They have lawyers and financial advisers who won’t allow them to be misused by anyone but themselves.”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time: The Sequel to Catch-22

“That’s the only way to live, by preparing to die.”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time: The Sequel to Catch-22

“You’re the only one in the family I really can talk to, and you won’t listen.”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time: The Sequel to Catch-22

“In due course, the psychologist conferred with the chief of psychiatry, who consulted with all the other medical men, and they concluded with one voice that there was nothing psychosomatic about the excellent health he was enjoying”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time: The Sequel to Catch-22

“Nothing made sense and neither did everything else. People did things without knowing why and then tried to find out.”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time: The Sequel to Catch-22

“A prick in the White House? It would not be the first time. Another oil tanker had broken up. There was radiation. Garbage. Pesticides, toxic waste, and free enterprise. There were enemies of abortion who wished to inflict the death penalty on everyone who was not pro-life. There was mediocrity in government, and self-interest too. There was trouble in Israel. These were not mere delusions. He was not making them up. Soon they would be cloning human embryos for sale, fun, and replacement parts. Men earned millions producing nothing more substantial than changes in ownership. The cold war was over and there was still no peace”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time: The Sequel to Catch-22

“The more I find out about the practice of law, the more I’m surprised that it isn’t illegal.”
― Joseph Heller, Closing Time: The Sequel to Catch-22