The Places That Scare You Quotes

“like a blind person who finds a jewel buried in a heap of garbage. Right here in what we’d like to throw away, in what we find repulsive and frightening, we discover the warmth and clarity of bodhichitta.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“complete acceptance of ourselves as we are is called maitri, a simple, direct relationship with the way we are.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“In the midst of continually talking to ourselves, we experience a pause, as if awakening from a dream. We recognize our capacity to relax with the clarity, the space, the openended awareness that already exists in our minds. We experience moments of being right here that feel simple, direct, and uncluttered.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“Acknowledging that we are all churned up is the first and most difficult step in any practice. Without compassionate recognition that we’re stuck, it’s impossible to liberate ourselves from confusion.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide to Fearlessness

“Only when we relate with ourselves without moralizing, without harshness, without deception, can we let go of harmful patterns. Without maitri, renunciation of old habits becomes abusive.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“We are not trapped in the identity of success or failure, or in any identity at all, neither in terms of how others see us nor in how we see ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide to Fearlessness

“Stillness is followed by movement, movement flows back into stillness.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide to Fearlessness

“what we struggle against all our lives can be acknowledged as ordinary experience.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide to Fearlessness

“An analogy for bodhichitta is the rawness of a broken heart. Sometimes this broken heart gives birth to anxiety and panic, sometimes to anger, resentment, and blame. But under the hardness of that armor there is the tenderness of genuine sadness. This is our link with all those who have ever loved. This genuine heart of sadness can teach us great compassion. It can humble us when we’re arrogant and soften us when we are unkind. It awakens us when we prefer to sleep and pierces through our indifference. This continual ache of the heart is a blessing that when accepted fully can be shared with all.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“We may doubt that we’re up to being a warrior-in-training. But we can ask ourselves this question: “Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“All too frequently we relate like timid birds who don’t dare to leave the nest.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“Wherever we are, we can train as a warrior. The practices of meditation, loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity are our tools. With the help of these practices, we can uncover the soft spot of bodhichitta.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“Second there is relative bodhichitta, our ability to keep our hearts and minds open to suffering without shutting down.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“Bodhichitta exists on two levels. First there is unconditional bodhichitta, an immediate experience that is refreshingly free of concept, opinion, and our usual all-caught-upness.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“This genuine heart of sadness can teach us great compassion. It can humble us when we’re arrogant and soften us when we are unkind.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“But fortunately for us, the soft spot—our innate ability to love and to care about things—is like a crack in these walls we erect. It’s a natural opening in the barriers we create when we’re afraid.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“We put up protective walls made of opinions, prejudices, and strategies, barriers that are built on a deep fear of being hurt. These walls are further fortified by emotions of all kinds: anger, craving, indifference, jealousy and envy, arrogance and pride.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

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― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“To put it concisely, we suffer when we resist the noble and irrefutable truth of impermanence and death. We suffer, not because we are basically bad or deserve to be punished, but because of three tragic misunderstandings. First, we expect that what is always changing should be graspable and predictable. We are born with a craving for resolution and security that governs our thoughts, words, and actions. We are like people in a boat that is falling apart, trying to hold on to the water. The dynamic, energetic, and natural flow of the universe is not acceptable to conventional mind. Our prejudices and addictions are patterns that arise from the fear of a fluid world. Because we mistakenly take what is always changing to be permanent, we suffer. Second, we proceed as if we were separate from everything else, as if we were a fixed identity, when our true situation is egoless. We insist on being Someone, with a capital S. We get security from defining ourselves as worthless or worthy, superior or inferior. We waste precious time exaggerating or romanticizing or belittling ourselves with a complacent surety that yes, that’s who we are. We mistake the openness of our being—the inherent wonder and surprise of each moment—for a solid, irrefutable self. Because of this misunderstanding, we suffer. Third, we look for happiness in all the wrong places. The Buddha called this habit “mistaking suffering for happiness,” like a moth flying into the flame. As we know, moths are not the only ones who will destroy themselves in order to find temporary relief. In terms of how we seek happiness, we are all like the alcoholic who drinks to stop the depression that escalates with every drink, or the junkie who shoots up in order to get relief from the suffering that increases with every fix.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“relax gradually and wholeheartedly into the ordinary and obvious truth of change.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“All too frequently we relate like timid birds who don’t dare to leave the nest. Here we sit in a nest that’s getting pretty smelly and that hasn’t served its function for a very long time. No one is arriving to feed us. No one is protecting us and keeping us warm. And yet we keep hoping mother bird will arrive. We could do ourselves the ultimate favor and finally get out of that nest. That this takes courage is obvious. That we could use some helpful hints is also clear. We may doubt that we’re up to being a warrior-in-training. But we can ask ourselves this question: “Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“We don’t like to have our basic assumptions challenged. It’s too threatening.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“In the middle of the river, with the shoreline out of view, the raft begins to disintegrate. We find ourselves with absolutely nothing to hold on to. From our conventional standpoint, this is scary and dangerous. However, one small shift of perspective will tell us that having nothing to hold on to is liberating. We could have faith that we won’t drown. Holding on to nothing means we can relax with this fluid, dynamic world.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“I am bigger than my thoughts and emotions.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“Hatred never ceases by hatred But by love alone is healed. This is an ancient and eternal law.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“When people ask me how long this will take, I say, “At least until you die.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“In joy and sorrow all are equal, Thus be guardian of all, as of yourself. —SHANTIDEVA”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“the best way to serve ourselves is to love and care for others.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“when we harm another, we are harming ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“we are all a paradoxical bundle of rich potential that consists of both neurosis and wisdom.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times