A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length Quotes

“A lot of fans are basically fans of fandom itself. It's all about them. They have mastered the Star Wars or Star Trek universes or whatever, but their objects of veneration are useful mainly as a backdrop to their own devotion. Anyone who would camp out in a tent on the sidewalk for weeks in order to be first in line for a movie is more into camping on the sidewalk than movies. Extreme fandom may serve as a security blanket for the socially inept, who use its extreme structure as a substitute for social skills. If you are Luke Skywalker and she is Princess Leia, you already know what to say to each other, which is so much safer than having to ad lib it. Your fannish obsession is your beard. If you know absolutely all the trivia about your cubbyhole of pop culture, it saves you from having to know anything about anything else. That's why it's excruciatingly boring to talk to such people: They're always asking you questions they know the answer to.”
― Roger Ebert, A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length: More Movies That Suck

“There's a lot of pious Roman Catholic iconography in the movie, although no one except the beloved executed priest ever goes into a church for purposes other than being murdered. The lads are loyal to the church in the same way fans are loyal to Da Bears. They aren't players themselves, but it's their team and don't mess with it.”
― Roger Ebert, A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length: More Movies That Suck

“It's said that Richard Harding Davis was dispatched by William Randolph Hearst to cover the Johnstown flood. Here was his lead: "God stood on a mountaintop here and looked at what his waters had wrought." Hearst cabled back: "Forget flood. Interview God.”
― Roger Ebert, A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length: More Movies That Suck

“Robin Hood is a high-tech and well-made violent action picture using the name of Robin Hood for no better reason than that it’s an established brand not protected by copyright”
― Roger Ebert, A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length: More Movies That Suck

“The franchise was founded by Wes Craven, the Ray Kroc of horror,”
― Roger Ebert, A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length: More Movies That Suck

“We got two gold-record singers and they don’t sing? So? We got five Oscar-winning actors and they don’t need to act much.”
― Roger Ebert, A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length: More Movies That Suck

“Lasse Hallstrom’s Dear John tells the heartbreaking story of two lovely young people who fail to find happiness together because they’re trapped in an adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel.”
― Roger Ebert, A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length: More Movies That Suck

“He is so solemn, detached, and uninvolved he makes Mr. Spock look like Hunter S. Thompson at closing time.”
― Roger Ebert, A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length: More Movies That Suck

“The dialogue seems to have been ripped throbbing with passion from the pages of Investor’s Business Daily.”
― Roger Ebert, A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length: More Movies That Suck

“I am also fascinated by how Darwin’s theory of evolution applies to zombies.”
― Roger Ebert, A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length: More Movies That Suck

“Finding success in a Michael bay film is like finding the Virgin on a slice of toast, but less rewarding.”
― Roger Ebert, A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length: More Movies That Suck