Children of the Self-Absorbed Quotes

“Your parent is not open to your thoughts, feelings, and ideas; does not relate to or care about your feelings; does not feel a need to change anything about himself; and can become enraged that you think that he is less than perfect. You cannot win, or even make any inroads into your parent’s self-absorption.”
― Nina W. Brown, Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents

“Catching others’ feelings is why some people think that they have too much empathy; they are overly sensitive to others’ feelings and as a result can feel taken over, manipulated, conned, and so on. Sufficient boundary strength permits you to be empathic without experiencing the negative effects. Until”
― Nina W. Brown, Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents

“constantly monitoring others for signs of distress; trying to discern others’ unmet needs; and trying to read other people’s minds, attempting to know how to respond or behave even before a request is made. Such adult children are still very anxious and fearful of disagreements and other forms of conflict, will subordinate their own personal needs most of the time, feel guilt and shame when others are disappointed, and do things that they don’t want to do in an effort to please others. In so doing, they can be easily seduced and often become enmeshed in others’ feelings.”
― Nina W Brown, Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents

“One of the most troubling and enduring effects of reverse parenting can be heightened emotional susceptibility. Emotional susceptibility is the tendency to “catch” others’ feelings (usually negative feelings), incorporate these feelings into your self, and then find that you are unable to easily release them. Your psychological boundary strength was not sufficiently developed as you were growing up, so you’re less able to screen out and choose which emotions of others you can accept and which the other person should keep. Do you find that you do any or all of the following?”
― Nina W Brown, Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents

“being unable to initiate and maintain satisfying and enduring relationships; being unable to say no and stick to it; and other negative behaviors and attitudes with others as well as with the self-aborbed parent. Some try to work through their issues or concerns with mental health professionals, but find that it is just about impossible to adequately describe what their formative years were like.”
― Nina W Brown, Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents