Confessions of a Hater Quotes

“Picture the person who intimidates you most. Now picture them crouched like a dog, pooping on the sidewalk, looking up at you, all vulnerable. We all poop. Maybe not on the sidewalk, but nobody is better than you and don't let them think they are for a minute.”
― Caprice Crane, Confessions of a Hater

“Ever think about how much that sucks? Sunday is the weekend, but it's also a school night. Kind of ruins the whole day. Like if you get quiet enough on a Sunday night, you can almost hear Monday taunting you with the theme from Jaws.”
― Caprice Crane, Confessions of a Hater

“It's probably those lactose-intolerant freaks. We all know there's nothing cool about intolerance.”
― Caprice Crane, Confessions of a Hater

“your success doesn't depend upon the failure of others”
― Caprice Crane, Confessions of a Hater

“you don't have to tear down others to build yourself up”
― Caprice Crane, Confessions of a Hater

“It wasn't until later, when I was lying in bed, alone with my thoughts,that I felt uneasy feeling return.
This is why you should never be alone with your thoughts, I thought. You thoughts are shitty company. They eat all the pizza and don't help clean up and they make you get all freaked out about the future.”
― Caprice Crane, Confessions of a Hater

“Skyler watched Xan approach with the look of a child being spoon-fed spinach.You can make all the airplane noises you want to, Mom, but it's not gonna make that green crap any more appetizing.”
― Caprice Crane, Confessions of a Hater

“I was on fire - or whatever the equivalent of 'on fire' is when you're 'in water'. (En fuego sounds awesome. En agua, not so much. No offense, Michael Phelps. Or Aquaman. Or Nemo.)”
― Caprice Crane, Confessions of a Hater

“This girl did not scream 'cheerleader' at first glance. Or fourteenth.”
― Caprice Crane, Confessions of a Hater

“Actually saying OMG out loud should only happen if you're being ironic or asking your phone for directions to the Oklahoma Meerkat Gardens.”
― Caprice Crane, Confessions of a Hater