The Next Thing I Knew Quotes

“Even though the place looked like Kansas, I didn´t need to tell Toto that my Facebook Places status wasnñt anywhere on the planet Earth, much less Kansas.”
― John Corwin, The Next Thing I Knew

“You let your mind rule your reality instead of you ruling your mind."
"Are you reading this stuff out of a Dr. Phil book?”
― John Corwin, The Next Thing I Knew

“Everything occurred in phases. The "Holy Crap, We're Dead!" phase was marked by mass hysteria. Mass euphoria resulted from the "Holy Crap, We're Free of Life's Burdens!" phase. Now things had shifted into the "Holy Crap, We Can Do Whatever We Want!" phase in which mass indulgence made the ancient Romans look like teetotalers.”
― John Corwin, The Next Thing I Knew

“This is not good," I said. "These guys have a superiority complex bigger than Miss Compton's butt."
"And she had the biggest butt of them all," Kyle said.”
― John Corwin, The Next Thing I Knew

“Harb was a ticking time bomb. It was like watching a preacher with Tourette syndrome. You knew the "Shit! Balls!" was coming at some point during the sermon, probably while he was slapping you on the forehead during a faith healing.”
― John Corwin, The Next Thing I Knew

“What the hell is wrong with me? And who is Nibbles?”
― John Corwin, The Next Thing I Knew

“Better check your pants, Kyle. I think you had a nerdgasm.”
― John Corwin, The Next Thing I Knew

“I´d use Google to find out, but seem to have misplaced my house along with my laptop”
― John Corwin, The Next Thing I Knew

“My God, you're hurt," Kyle said.
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't use his name around me right now. He's kicking my ass."
"God?"
"No, but his bitch is."
"How? It's impossible to hurt ghosts."
"Tell that to the smoking crater on my chest.”
― John Corwin, The Next Thing I Knew

“Besides, we have the one the God Hand wishes to see." "What about the God foot?" I said. "Or the God pinky finger?”
― John Corwin, The Next Thing I Knew

“Anil may have been human, but he thought like Rrilk," Phiirr said. "And I never found out what a Twinkie was.”
― John Corwin, The Next Thing I Knew

“My mind is clear! Yay! This is so cool. I need to tell Chris. Oh, I wonder how hard the next phase will be. I can't wait to try possessing another gorilla.”
― John Corwin, The Next Thing I Knew

“This is worse than death. Now i have to spend eternity with my nagging wife and mother-in-law. what did i do to deserve this?”
― John Corwin, The Next Thing I Knew

“Life had jerked the carpet out from underneath us and left a shattered mess”
― John Corwin, The Next Thing I Knew