The Pucking Wrong Guy Quotes

“Is this what madness felt like?”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“So you’ve come to the master, young grasshopper," Lincoln mused. I threw up a middle finger before realizing I wasn’t on Facetime and he couldn’t see me. “Just so you know, I told Walker you were cool. I’m going to have to go back and tell him otherwise now…just because you tried to Mr. Miyagi me.” “Do you want my help or not?” “Yes, I need your help! That’s why I fucking called!” “Then call me Mr. Miyagi.” I stared at my phone in disbelief. “Is this real life? Am I being punked?” “Final offer.” “Uggggh. Fine. Can you help me, Mr. Miyagi?” “I thought you would never ask,” Lincoln said calmly, only laughing after I growled at him.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“Because I have a boyfriend.” “You should probably put him on notice then, sunshine,” he murmured with a slightly crazed grin. “Of what?” I whispered. “Of the fact he’s about to lose his girl.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“Yes, that’s it. Look at you, coming on my big cock. What a fucking good girl.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“She was like a lightning strike, breaking my fucking heart with her beauty. She had me and every other guy—and girl—in the room doing double takes. I immediately wanted to gouge out all their eyes with the fork on the table in front of me. Mine, my insides–and my dick–were screaming.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“Sorry, Soto. I can’t even pretend to like you.” Soto’s face curled up in a snarl as he dropped his fake ass peace offering. “Fuck you, Lancaster.” I winked at him. “Sorry, not without dinner first. Your tiny dick would be so forgettable, I’d have to at least get a steak out of it.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“I’d learned over the years that there were a lot of ways to destroy someone. I was watching it happen right in front of me.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“I felt a bond between us that was stronger than any of the losses I’d endured.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“The world felt too big. Everything inside me was lonely. It was never ending.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“Hating yourself was hard work. It was hard to find room for anything else.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“Every morning I wake up and I can’t believe my fucking luck, because I get to wake up to you. I consider it a privilege to know you.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“I did think it was perfect that I was so obsessed with her I’d followed her to L.A., bugged her phone, and planted drugs in her boyfriend’s car. All the other fun things I had planned were pretty perfect as well.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“What’s your name, sunshine?”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“I blinked through tear-soaked lashes and saw a boy standing there, concern shining from his eyes. He looked at me as though he really saw me.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“And then I saw her on that billboard I finally had her back, and I’d stop at nothing to make her mine. She might not see it coming, but destiny had already set its course, and I was powerless to fight it.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“It was as if my soul recognized him. As if we'd met before in another life, in another time. I couldn't explain it, but there was an unshakable feeling that our destinies were intertwined, that our connection went far beyond now.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“You should probably put him on notice then, sunshine,” he murmured with a slightly crazed grin. “Of what?” I whispered. “Of the fact he’s about to lose his girl.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“I sent a giant heart after that text, because what else did you do to tell someone you loved them bunches?”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“His wrists were adorned with an array of bracelets, and they jingled softly as he moved.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“Other members of the team were watching us, and I gave them a little salute, because I was classy like that.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“Your soul wasn’t supposed to exist in another person, yet here we were.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“I’m going to murder you,” I hissed at Lincoln during a break. “I’m going to have Blake’s dog bite your dick off! And then I’m going to let him use as it a fucking chew toy!” “Have that fantasy a lot? Because that was weirdly detailed,” Lincoln mused”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“I glanced down at his erection. “We can’t go out there with that monster in the building!” Ari stared up at the ceiling, and started his usual “grandpa balls” chant as I watched the driver approach our door. “Hurry!” I whisper-yelled, glancing down at his dick again. “Don’t yell at Maximus 5000! He doesn’t like to be pressured,” Ari hissed back. I burst out laughing. “Maximus 5000?” “It’s a pet name. All the great ones have it.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“Grandma Airways was evidently coming in hot.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“Lincoln: Let me know if you need any cuffs. What did that have to do with anything? Me: Cuffs? Why would I need—wait. You’re not talking about some kinky sex thing, are you? Lincoln: … Me: … I glanced at Blake again. Me: I could probably use them.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“Walker, the goalie with a face that could launch a thousand ships,” I drawled. He snorted and extended a hand like he was offering a VIP ticket to the "I'm Gonna Steal Your Girl" show. "Nice to have you on board," he said, all charming and Disney prince-ish. I shook it, fighting the urge to ask if he always had a wind machine following him around.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“Ahh, Walker, the goalie with a face that could launch a thousand ships,” I drawled.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“Fuck you, Lancaster.” I winked at him. “Sorry, not without dinner first. Your tiny dick would be so forgettable, I’d have to at least get a steak out of it.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“You know who I fucking am. And don’t you fucking say his name again, or I’m going to choke you with my mother fucking cock,” Ari Lancaster growled.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy

“He reached between us and pulled his cock free from his tight pants, and I was deceased. Because Ari Lancaster's cock was completely pierced from root to tip. A Jacob's ladder extending from the bottom of his gigantic dick, all the way to the top.”
― C.R. Jane, The Pucking Wrong Guy