Good Intentions Quotes

“Rawr! I’m a duke of Hell, bitches!’ and then he was like, ‘This is my turf! Welcome to Castle Cocksucker!’ and then he was all, ‘You’re all gonna die!’ and then it was, ‘Fuck, this sword hurts!’ and finally he was like, ‘Oh fuck, I’m dead!”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“Nobody’s ‘chosen’ for anything. You happen to be in one situation or another and you make your decisions based on who you are. Maybe you’re the right person for that situation, maybe you’re not. Hopefully you do the right thing for the world and you move on from there.”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“So you’re wrapped up in a fight against evil with two smoking hot women glued to you and your buddies along for the ride? Dude. You’re like a Joss Whedon show, man.” “I am not,” Alex replied. “You totally are.” “Jason, stop it. I’m serious.” “I’m just sayin’.” “Jason,” Wade broke in, “y’all realize that if he’s a Joss Whedon show, at least one of his gals has gotta get killed off in some climactic moment for no other reason than to punch up the drama, right?” Jason”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“Warning: “Good Intentions” contains violence, explicit sex, nudity, inappropriate use of church property, portrayals of beings divine and demonic bearing little or no resemblance to established religion or mythology, trespassing, bad language, sacrilege, blasphemy, attempted murder, arguable murder, divinely mandated murder, justifiable murder, filthy murder, sexual promiscuity, kidnapping, attempted rape, arson, dead animals, desecrated graves, gang activity, theft, assault and battery, panties, misuse of the 911 system, fantasy depictions of sorcery and witchcraft, multiple references to various matters of fandom, questionable interrogation tactics, cell phone abuse, reckless driving, consistent abuse of vampires (because they deserve it), even more explicit sex, illegal use of firearms within city limits, polyamory, abuse of authority, hit and run driving, destruction of private property, underage drinking, disturbances of the peace, disorderly conduct, internet harassment, bearers of false witness, mayhem, dismemberment, falsification of records, tax evasion, an uncomfortably sexy mother, bad study habits, and a very silly white guy inappropriately calling another white guy “nigga” (for which he will surely suffer). All characters depicted herein are over the age of 18, with the exception of one little girl who merely needs to get her cat out of a tree. Don’t worry, nothing bad happens to her. She makes it through the story just fine.”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“Many people want only enough money to provide general security and some small measure of amusement, and are satisfied with that.”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“You wanna fight right, you gotta be meaner than the other guy. Don’t matter if it’s ugly. Losing is uglier. You don’t know what’s gonna happen if you lose.”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“A whore is someone who provides sex for money. I don’t see the crime in that. That could obviously be rough business and I know it chews people up but I’m not going to judge. Anyone who’s got a serious problem with a woman doing that should step up and offer her a different job. And ‘slut’ is a double standard. Why’s it okay for men to have many partners, but not women? That doesn’t add up. “I want to get laid a lot. Does that make me a slut? Maybe, but more to the point, should I be ashamed of it? And if I feel that way about myself, should I feel that way about others?”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“Friends Help You Move. Real Friends Help You Move Bodies.”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“Repent, motherfucker. The end is near. For you, anyway.”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“Yup. Dead. Slain. Wasted. Kicked the bucket. First he was all, ‘Rawr! I’m a duke of Hell, bitches!’ and then he was like, ‘This is my turf! Welcome to Castle Cocksucker!’ and then he was all, ‘You’re all gonna die!’ and then it was, ‘Fuck, this sword hurts!’ and finally he was like, ‘Oh fuck, I’m dead!”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“Well, ya never know what’s gonna come up in combat. Ah mean, y’all might have t’ crawl aroun’ here, climb there, suddenly do some jumpin’ jacks in a firefight,” Wade said sarcastically. “Strip down t’ your underwear an’ duck-walk out t’ the enemy. Ah imagine th’ Taliban are terrified by that, but mah unit never tried it.”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“It takes more strength to let the child stand, stumble, fall and recover on his own than it takes to hold that child’s hand and guide him through every moment.”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“Molly and Onyx shared a smile and a knowing glance. Mr. Woods was indeed charming, and witty, and handsome…and they would both have paid good money to see him hit by a bus.”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“Nonsense. This is my first beer. Ah only ever moon people sober. Y’ never know what horrible things might happen if’n ya show yer ass when drunk.”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“Three blondes with the same goddamn name but different spellings, she thought, and not a whole brain between them. I feel like I’m on a reality show.”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions

“I just thought after yesterday that you must’ve told the bitch to keep her tramp snatch shut. I suppose it doesn’t do any real harm...even if you’re probably bound to do it again,”
― Elliott Kay, Good Intentions