Self Matters Quotes

“At times you may feel very, very lonely. Strangely, even when you’re in the midst of people, there is an ache of separation. You talk to others, but never feel totally listened to. You may feel misunderstood, even when you are brave enough to risk sharing your feelings. You may often fear another’s touch, because you can’t discern that person’s meaning or intention, no matter how close they may seem, including your own family members. Painfully, you may have learned that friends and family alike have the capacity to leave you or ignore what is important to your authentic self, opting instead to have you be and do what is convenient for them. And if your struggle to fill the void has gone on long enough, you may have developed an underlying pessimism. You may have become passive in your quest for change and fulfillment. Bottom line: There is seldom a time in your life when all is at peace and in balance.”
― Phillip C. McGraw, Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out

“Living to a label can only become a part of your personal truth and concept of self if at some level it is working for you. Living to that label, giving your power away, provides some kind of income—social, spiritual, economic, or otherwise—that can make even the most painful and inappropriate labels highly durable and stubbornly resistant to change. Somehow, someway, accepting the definition of that label provides you some currency or you wouldn’t do it. Maybe it’s an excuse to be passive or angry or play the victim, but whatever it is, you wouldn’t do it without a reward, however sick that payoff might be.”
― Phillip C. McGraw, Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out

“Remember from Chapter 1 that when I say “killing you,” I mean it literally. When you are mentally and emotionally at war with yourself, it changes your physiology. It takes years off your life and makes you so much more susceptible to disease. How? Your immune cells are closely related to your nerve cells and there is instant communication between the two types of cell. For every thought you have, you have an instantaneous change in your physical body. If you are thinking negative and self-defeating thoughts about yourself, you will have a corresponding negative and defeating physiology. It might take the form of increased endocrine activity, chronic adrenaline arousal, elevated blood pressure, or even a heart attack.”
― Phillip C. McGraw, Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out

“It is the forward-looking view that affords you great power, because that is where you can create so much more, so much that is authentically you. Right now I will guarantee you that you are spending too much life energy worrying over and being controlled by what has already happened in your life. Why? Because the links in your existing chain are events that are over and done with. Those events have gone by; they are of little consequence at this point. As with a rocket taking off from Cape Canaveral, everything you see trailing behind—the flame, the smoke, the steam—everything that is behind the rocket is “spent” energy. Spent energy has no value. It got you where you are, but it’s of absolutely no value in the here and now. It’s over; it’s done.”
― Phillip C. McGraw, Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out

“. I hold to the rather old-fashioned belief that each of us is blessed with particular gifts given to us by God, and that it is our sacred obligation to identify, to cherish, and to exercise those gifts for the betterment of ourselves and of those in our lives. I believe that the more responsibility you exercise toward yourself, the more responsible you can become toward others. I believe that one of the greatest gifts you can offer the other people in your life is your authentic self, rather than your fictional self. From the authentic self flows a peace and clarity that can only benefit and enrich the lives of those you love”
― Phillip C. McGraw, Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out

“There could be no greater stress than that generated by denying the authentic self. Because your life energy is being diverted and therefore depleted, you are compromised mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. What about the long-term, cumulative effects of all this? I wasn’t just being dramatic when I said denying who you really are can kill you. In his book Real Age, Dr. Michael Roizen points out that for every year that you live with high stress, you shorten your life expectancy by three years. According to his research, if you don’t have an outlet for your true passion, it costs you another six years. If someone is draining your energy due to constant turmoil and conflict, you lose another eight years.”
― Phillip C. McGraw, Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out

“Self-acceptance was the foundation of the happiest time in your life and it was the engine that powered the train.”
― Phillip C. McGraw, Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out