Two Wheels Over Catalonia Quotes

“So, armed with my NIE, I merrily filled in lots of forms to order telephones, water, electricity and so on – if not exactly without incident, then at least without NRIs (NIF-related Incidents).”
― Richard Guise, Two Wheels Over Catalonia: Cycling the Back-Roads of North-Eastern Spain

“Your NIF is your Número de Identidad Fiscal. It's your Spanish identity number. Of course, even before the illfated attempts of the last few years, there's long been an identity number system in Britain too. The difference is that that the British have several, not all of which are compulsory. For example, if you never venture abroad, you don't need a passport and therefore never get a passport number, nor need one: seeing a human being in front of them, most British officials would give them the benefit of the doubt and accept that they exist. Not so in Spain. On every official form in Spain, and most unofficial forms too, a little box exists for your NIF. It's usually right there just below the two boxes for your surnames. If you leave it blank, the computer is unhappy.
Of course, the sharp-as-mustard Spanish bureaucrats have noticed that, ever since Christopher Columbus persuaded Queen Isabella to finance his holidays in the Caribbean, more and more alien life forms have been arriving in Spain, and not only entering the country, but getting jobs here, buying houses, having children and generally filling in forms like there's no tomorrow.”
― Richard Guise, Two Wheels Over Catalonia: Cycling the Back-Roads of North-Eastern Spain

“Since I opened the account here,' I said, 'I've been given a NIE. It's here on my resident's permit.' I pushed it through the hatch to him.
'Ah yes,' he repeated. 'Excellent. A NIE. Yes, yes, the computer in Bilbao will like this. Turning to his screen, he tapped in my NIE. 'Yes, very good. You now exist. Excellent, excellent.'
Returning my precious permit and congratulating me once again on my new-found existence, Carlos bid me good day, and soon after, three months' salary duly arrived.
In the following two years, I slipped in and out of existence three times in as many minutes as an official at an office called 'El Tráfico' juggled with my NIE, my lack of NIF and yet another number – one till then unknown to me – my special personal NIT (Número de Identidad del Tráfico), which for a Spaniard is naturally the same number as their NIF, but for an alien, is a unique non-NIF, non-NIE number. CAM? (Clear as Mud?)
Also, in the intervening two years the Maastricht Treaty had come into effect, making the Spaniards and me – and even, heaven forbid, the French”
― Richard Guise, Two Wheels Over Catalonia: Cycling the Back-Roads of North-Eastern Spain