Pay-Per-Heart Quotes

“It was like I was hoarding men. I was basically a dick dragon.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“Take it down three notches in volume, Foghorn, or I will dick punch you.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“I’d just continue to pretend to be asleep instead, because I was a grown-up.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“But there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to climb aboard that giant nope rope between his legs and give it the good old college try.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“I’m never drinking champagne again,” he groaned. “I’m pretty sure that’s what they baptized Satan in.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“Go away. I’m dying.” “We’re gonna cure that, Sunshine. Put some clothes on. We’re going out for pancakes.” “No, let me stroll into the underworld in peace.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“You’re going to have such a hangover tomorrow, Sunshine.” I snorted. “That’s tomorrow Blake’s problem.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“It gives me the feels, and I don’t want the feels. I want to be a ho. Like a mega-slut. I want to live and sleep with you, and Everett, and Hennie, and Darwin. And then all of you at once.” A tiny, sober part of my brain was screaming at me to stop. “But I want to take my shoes off more. My feet hurt.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“You can’t have a conversation with a man called DongLoverForever about his chihuahua breeding program, and keep a straight face during a conversation, you know what I mean?”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“If you’re a homophobe with a tiny dick, just say you're a homophobe with a tiny dick. There’s no need for all these dramatics.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“I felt like I was sinking in quicksand, like I was Artax, but instead of the swamp of sadness, it was in the sandhole of horniness. The lake of lust. The dung pile of desire. Whatever. You get the point.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“Maybe he was a foot model? Such a thing must exist. Or maybe he was a model-model, because the rest of him was hot. Like call-your-mama-and-tell-her-you’ve-met-your-future-husband hot. Like please-bend-me-over-any-available-surface hot.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“I wanted to live before I settled down and joined the Real Housewives of Dahlonega.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“Real funny, Heinrich. I’ll be sure to sign you a copy of Blake Bangs the Bratwurst.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“Hennie leaned back in his chair, making his black tee stretch taut across his chest. “There’s always porn. I’ve seen the way you handle two Vienna sausages. There’s gotta be a market for that.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“I ate some ramen out of a mug and watched the only channel on the television, which happened to be Evangelical TV—twenty-four-seven hymns to heal your soul. I sang along, not because I was particularly religious, but damn, some of these songs were as catchy as Chlamydia in Vegas.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“Maybe I was just seeing desire everywhere now, wanting to taste every guy who even showed me a little bit of interest. It was like I was hoarding men. I was basically a dick dragon.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“So I would do what any smart, mature woman would do. I was going to ignore it and pretend it never happened, while secretly thinking about it late at night while I touched myself. Like a grown-up.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“Actually, Pavlov’s dogs and my nether regions had a lot of similarities at that moment; apparently we’d both been conditioned to get a little moist around the lips on command.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“There were three things you shouldn’t skimp on in life: a new bed, hair appointments, and things that will give you countless years of orgasms. Pretty sure Nostradamus said that.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“When God had been handing out beauty, I’d been finger-painting with boogers at the back of the line.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“Just the thought of your giant python cock makes my asshole snap shut like a Venus fly trap.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“Hennie!” The noise I made sounded like an opossum stuck in a trash can, which was probably not a sexy noise, but totally appropriate when someone sucked out your soul through the happy button.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart

“I felt like I was sinking in quicksand, like I was Artax, but instead of the swamp of sadness, it was in the sandhole of horniness. The lake of lust.”
― Grace McGinty, Pay-Per-Heart