Why Me? Quotes

“Zachary’s partner, a younger man with a moustache named Freedly— Well, no. The man was named Freedly. Zachary’s partner, a younger man named Freedly with a moustache— Zachary’s partner, a moustached younger man named Freedly— Freedly said, “Have you got the ring on you?”
― Donald E. Westlake, Why Me?

“A friend of mine'll follow him home tonight", Tiny said, "to get me the address. He's on the four to twelve. Around one, I'll put on a ski mask and go to that guy's house and put his head in his holster." "A ski mask," Dortmunder echoed. He was thinking how much good a ski mask would do to disguise this monster. In order to be effectively disguised, Tiny would have to put on, at a minimum, a three-room apartment.”
― Donald E. Westlake, Why Me?

“If you’ll take a look at the speeches made at the United Nations,” Agent Freedly said, “I think you’ll find they’re mostly ridiculous. But that never stops them from being delivered, translated, printed, and very often believed.”
― Donald E. Westlake, Why Me?

“Here was Chief Inspector Francis Xavier Mologna (pronounced Maloney), 53 years of age, a God-fearing white male Long Island Irishman, and be damned if the person in all of life whose thought processes most closely matched his own wasn’t some damn 28-year-old smart-aleck faggot nigger called Sergeant Leon Windrift. (Had Leon been only homosexual, he would have been bounced out of New York’s finest long ago. Had he been only black, he’d be a patrolman forever. Being a faggot and a nigger, he could neither be fired nor kept in some damn precinct, which is why he’d risen so rapidly through the ranks to a sergeantcy and a job at Headquarters, where Mologna had first noticed him and stolen him for himself.)”
― Donald E. Westlake, Why Me?

“You don’t get to be top cop in the great city of New York by takin bribes from strangers.”
― Donald E. Westlake, Why Me?