Christmas in Coconut Creek Quotes

“I’d taken the man down the back of my throat like it was an Olympic sport in broad daylight on the coastal highway.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“Between work and my personal life, the last several years had been like ripping wax off a labia—”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“A flicker of color returned to his dark eyes. “Who else would I have to sext at one in the morning?” “The ladies at the retirement home, probably.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“It’s not nothing.” I shook that sentiment away. “But it’s not something—never mind, can we drop it? She’s not from here, she’s too young for me…” “How old is she?” “Not old enough.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“I nodded, in utter wonderment over the whole thing. “You touch my dick…” “I touch yours.” He smiled.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“I don’t assume it’s a he, I assume it’s him, and because you once told me the texture of a vagina reminded you of a Hot Pocket.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“I’ll be picking your ho-ho-ho ass up at a Publix tomorrow morning with your reindeer ears on backwards and Hook(Up) guy’s dick print on your cheek.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“How’s it going?” Frankie smiled at her. “I’ll do a Coke and”—he took a second to look at all his options—“the white cheddar popcorn. Please.” Before I could tell the attendant my own choices Frankie spoke up again. “And the same for my fiancée.” “Not his fiancée,” I quickly corrected, shooting him a glare with a playful shove to the shoulder. “Just proposed,” he added. “Still waiting on an answer.” Oh, game absolutely on. “I recently found out that I’m the other, other woman,” I explained to the confused and slightly horrified stewardess. “He has me, and then a boyfriend back home, and then his boyfriend has a girlfriend—I don’t know if polyamory is for me.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“You could just say you were looking at my dick.” I rolled my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Was there a way to retract inside one's own asshole? “It’s fine,” he assured me. “I did it too.” “You looked at my dick?” Frankie coughed out a laugh and looked around as a man shimmied behind him and further down the aisle. “I’m more of an ass man, to be honest.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“I shifted the focus until the zoom landed directly over the crotch of his pants and tilted my head. A second later, someone cleared their throat from above me. “Shit.” I slammed my phone facedown in my lap and looked up at the person who undoubtedly just watched me analyze a dude’s bulge. Only, it was much, much worse than that. “Oh—fuck.” “It’s better in person.” Frankie stood above me, smirking.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“He smiled amusedly. “Only psychopaths sleep with socks on, just so you know. What, do you have ugly toes or something?”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“Some people say your twenties are your prime, but I feel like the older we get the more unrelentingly horny we become.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“Are you trying to say men are marketing ploys? Because I agree. They're functional art at best. We have evolved past the need for penis.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“Home is subjective.” He waved my words out of the air. “A smell, a place, a feeling, a memory. A person.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“You are the most distracting thing that’s ever happened to me.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“That’s a good voice, I thought. One I wouldn’t mind hearing on a late-night phone call, long distance. One I’d never delete out of my voicemail just so I could go back and rehear it. But those weren’t things I was supposed to be thinking while I sat next to her on the carpet, sneaking as many secret looks as I could at the way the fireplace brought out the hidden auburn in her hair. I wasn’t supposed to be committing her favorite wine to memory, or remembering her siblings’ names, or spending my entire lunch break researching the best hiking trails in Colorado so I could save them in the notes on my phone, just in case.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“That’s a good voice, I thought. One I wouldn’t mind hearing on a late-night phone call, long distance. One I’d never delete out of my voicemail just so I could go back and rehear it.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“Relief because it meant the girl I couldn’t stop thinking about was thinking about me, and my life, and my past, and my tours, and the shit that made me a thirty-five-year-old bachelor with a roommate and a season pass to Butterflyland.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“I was in the military,” I reminded her. “Where interests are limited to drinking, fucking, and blowing shit up.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“Do I look like a fucking apostle to you, Natalia?” Cap replied humorously, setting his sights on O sitting in my lap again. “This one sure as hell ain’t the Virgin Mary.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“across the bench seat and tugged at the hem of her dress. “Give me a couple minutes with her?” “Did you just refer to my vagina as her? “Them?”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“Top Gun. Your favorite movie.” “Fuck Tom Cruise.” He shook his head. “What an unattainable standard to have as a pilot. And introducing my bedroom to women as ‘my personal cockpit’ never got the reaction I hoped it would.” Frankie looked genuinely distraught and I tampered a laugh by sinking my teeth into my bottom lip. “You’re laughing at a man’s pain.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“All I know, because I’m dating one, is that women in their twenties are talking about husbands and babies at all hours of the fucking day. You want to stick your dick in something wet first thing in the morning, she wants to open a HomeGoods credit card.” I squinted. “Did you open a HomeGoods credit card?” “That’s not the fucking point.” Mateo took an aggressive gulp of his beer. “Ophelia and Natalia are best friends, which means their brains are full of the same twisted, nonsensical DIY projects and seasonal candle scents. Ophelia is looking for someone to settle down with, the same way Tally is ‘accidentally’ leaving her laptop open to all-inclusive honeymoon destinations.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“You and your money-making titties are making me cry.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“I’ll be the first to agree that we’re not paid nearly enough money to deal with parents. The kids are fucking cake in comparison.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“So you have more of a teacher/bad student, ‘smack him around with a yardstick for not doing his homework’ fantasy.” “I actually have the opposite of that, because I’m pretty sure even thinking it would get me fired.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek

“I knew what love was, what it looked like—but it was never in my sphere, never really in my home, not in the years I could remember, anyway.”
― Karissa Kinword, Christmas in Coconut Creek