The Reluctant Assassin Quotes

“No alcohol, Riley." She nodded at the screen. "How are you liking the twenty-first century?"
Riley burped. "The Take That are most melodic. And God bless Harry Potter is all I can say. If not for him, all of London would have been consumed by the dark arts.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Reluctant Assassin

“Punching - 2 shillings
Both eyes blacked - 4 shillings
Nose and jaw broke - 10 shillings
Jacked out (knocked out with a blackjack) - 15 shillings
Ear chewed off - same as previous
Leg or arm broke - 19 shillings
Shot in leg - 25 shillings
Stab - same as previous
Doing the Big Job - 3 pounds and up”
― Eoin Colfer, The Reluctant Assassin

“In advance I beg you not to be insulted, for I do respect you.'
'Oh, I love these questions. Go on.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Reluctant Assassin

“Killing the devil cannot be a sin.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Reluctant Assassin

“We don't use the term "savage Injun" anymore. Some people take issue with being described as savages. Go figure.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Reluctant Assassin

“Er... WARP: Witness Anonymous Relocation Programme.'
'That sounds like they threw in Anonymous to fit the name WARP. Otherwise they'd have WRP and what kind of acronym would that be?”
― Eoin Colfer, The Reluctant Assassin

“Magic. Garrick”
― Eoin Colfer, The Reluctant Assassin

“Mr. Charismo? Surely not Tibor Charismo, the most famous man in all of England.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Reluctant Assassin

“The sun was already long past the spire when Garrick purchased a mug of coffee from his regular man on the tip of Oxford Street. But his palate had been educated by 21st century coffee, and he judged this mug as bilge water not fit for the Irish.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Reluctant Assassin