Flying Without a Net Quotes

“This book serves as a reminder that the only sign of life is growth, and it provides a guide for following a growth path. No one has to be doomed to a life controlled by anxieties in which we allow our careers, not to mention our souls, to fade away. Life can be an endless adventure of possibilities. Through self-awareness, with a support network to help us along the way and over the rough patches, with a specific plan, by putting one foot in front of another, you can fly without a net. You can move past the fears and stories of your past that have paralyzed you into inaction. You can rid yourself of the constant internal conversation you have had in the past that froze you in one job, one place, one time.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“That is why expressing gratitude is so important at this point. It makes you realize that you are where you are because of not only your efforts but because of so many other factors, namely the efforts of others, the right circumstances, and perhaps even a little luck.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“I’ve boiled the suggestions contained in this book into six steps that may facilitate the practical application of it: 1. Stop to reflect, with self-awareness. 2. Let go of the past. 3.  Create a vision or specific goal with an agenda. 4.  Seek support through mentors and a network. 5. Don’t blink. 6.  Take action that makes you vulnerable. These”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“Each of us gets to choose the method for growth. Each of us gets the chance to define the scope and scale of the adventure. We get to figure out the pacing and sequencing of our adventure. Most important, we get to experience what it feels like to come alive again after we have had our first dance after sitting out so many.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“You get the idea. Be aware that we all are being called upon to change in ways that are foreign to us. We can no longer maintain the status quo and expect to prosper in our organizations. To avoid being like Steve, we must be courageous enough to do something different than what we are doing.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“She suggests that when individuals feel stuck and experience psychological paralysis, they need to think about contrasts. She recommends beginning the process by doing the opposite of whatever you are doing.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“Whether we’re adolescents trying to gather the courage to ask a girl to dance or driven professionals trying to take on a fresh challenge, we need to overcome our anxiety, gather our courage, and allow ourselves to be vulnerable. It’s the only way we’re going to move from one quadrant to the next; it’s the only way we’re going to grow.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“What I’m really saying is that the essence of life is when to say yes and when to say no.” He further explained, “Say yes to adventure and no to folly. And only you can know the difference.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“Flying without a net works only when you have prepared, taken time to reflect, and decided that vulnerability and courage are better alternatives.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“Schein told me that he had learned over the years that it was fruitless to give anyone advice or feedback unless they asked for it. Giving advice did no good. If anything, he maintained, it hurt the situation. The other person simply would become more defensive. He admonished me to create the kind of climate where individuals felt safe enough to ask for feedback. A”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“To avoid these problems, you should be proactive in seeking feedback regularly and routinely. Don’t save up your questions and concerns for one marathon session at the end of the year. You’ll find that taking advice and ideas in small increments is easier for you to digest. When people tell you that you should quit a certain behavior more than once and within different contexts, their point sinks in and you’re more likely to take action on it.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“It was simply a process whereby we would ask others what we should stop (St), keep (K), and start (S) doing, given a particular role we might have as a teacher, friend, spouse, father, mother, etc.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“It’s natural to choose people who share your beliefs and values for your team; it’s natural to select as confidants individuals who will make you feel good about yourself. The problem, of course, is that these individuals won’t challenge you to change.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“Put the past in the past”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“It is not what actually happened in your past that is important but what you told yourself about yourself that mattered. It has to do with the story you created about the past.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“realize that most hard-driving managers and executives have been socialized to believe they cannot admit vulnerability to themselves or others. I would urge you to get past this misconception and realize that such admissions will enhance your productivity and career.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“The more we care, the more we worry, and though we have the best of intentions, our intense anxiety can cause us to approach a person or a problem in the wrong way. Worry clouds our judgment, and we end up making bad decisions because of it.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“There’s a term in pop psychology circles called stinking thinking, and it essentially means that people allow their thoughts to run away in negative and often illogical directions. Don’t let that happen in these situations. Instead, keep reminding yourself that a problem in one area does not mean that there’s a problem in another area. Keep returning your focus to the specific issue, and recognize when you’re allowing your worry to spread in illogical and unproductive directions.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“There’s a term in pop psychology circles called stinking thinking, and it essentially means that people allow their thoughts to run away in negative and often illogical directions.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“Do you feel separated from the core of the company and feel like your office is an island?”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“After thirty years of observing various leaders, a consultant friend noted this irony: leaders worry too much about the obvious. Of course, they should worry about compensation and where the organization is going, about departments and divisions and whether they are making money. What they don’t worry about is what their people are worried about: whether they have purpose in the organization; whether they are part of the team (isolation); whether they matter and their work matters (significance”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“Like busyness and comparing, blame is a trap we set for ourselves to cover up the anxieties that drive us to do what we do, act how we act, and be the kind of person we may not want to be. All three of these traps are serious stuff, but there’s one more trap you should know about, and it has become the most enticing and devastating trap of them all. In some ways, it lays the foundation for the other three traps. I’m talking about worry.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“As a high-need-for-achievement individual, you’ve set ambitious goals for yourself. That’s fine. But there’s a difference between ambitious goals and unrealistic ones. Some people are set on making their first $1 billion before age forty or becoming CEO of a Fortune 500 company before age fifty. When you fixate on unrealistic goals and fail to achieve them, you become bitter and cynical. Instead of resetting your goals realistically, you take out your disappointment on others. You blame others for failing to choose you for the top spot.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“Our fears of being ordinary combined with our sense of being extraordinarily sensitive souls prompt us to seek scapegoats when things go wrong in our work lives. By refusing to accept blame, we protect ourselves from our concern that we’re just regular Joes and Joans who are prone to making mistakes. By finding someone else to take the fall when things go bad, we preserve our belief that we possess some special insight into other people’s internal flaws. We’re especially likely to subscribe to these beliefs when our careers are losing traction or things are going wrong for us in other ways at work. In addition, many of us find it easier to blame others rather than ourselves because we have inflated views of our impact on the world and on others. We give ourselves the benefit of the doubt because we know that we are genuine and earnest; we couldn’t be at fault; the fault must lie with Mark, who is less genuine, or Mary, who is less earnest than we are.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“Now, as I reflect on my life I’ve realized that we are all worried of living the ordinary life, of making no difference at all. But what I’ve come to understand is that the ordinary life is good enough.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“Recognize that it takes considerable time to move to the point in this curve where we accept appropriate responsibility. We must be brave enough to own up to our role without personalizing the problem and experiencing shame.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“I would urge you to find your own measure for providing a constant reminder that you’re on track (or not) and help you avoid falling into the comparing behavior trap.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“More specifically, don’t settle into the routine that so many “comfortable” professionals settle into. Don’t be content to just do your job. I’m not suggesting you have to work for ten different companies in ten years, but within your own organization, numerous opportunities exist for learning and growth. Volunteer for a team. Ask your boss for a stretch assignment. Spend time talking with people in other functions. Go to trade shows where you have the chance to meet people from other companies. Serve on internal or external (e.g., trade group) committees where you get to work with experts whom you ordinarily wouldn’t get to work for.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“The lesson here that every high-need-for-achievement professional is: Seek a range of experiences to avoid falling into the comparing trap.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success

“No matter how much we achieve, we are never satisfied with our achievements when we’re caught in the comparing trap.”
― Thomas J. DeLong, Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success