The Perils of Praline Quotes

“Um…you’re four blocks away. Why can’t you walk?”
“I’m naked.” Sometimes the truth was like a band-aid in need
of removal; one had to get it over with as quickly as possible.
“And I’m sitting in a bougainvillea bush.”
Jason was silent. Even his silence sounded angry. Praline knew
he should have sent a text.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“You're an opportunistic little slut, that's what you are."
"That's not fair. I had no idea she'd give me your job."
"Oh, you just fucked her husband for the fun of it?"
"Have you seen his ass?”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“If you look out for the sunny side of the street, the sunny side of the street will look out for you.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“Frenemies were uniquely Californian. A danger his mother forgotten to mention.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“If you keep offering to have sex with me, I'm going to think you like me.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“Look," Jason said, "you really need to learn the difference between sex and a thank-you card.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“Then, Jason looked up and asked, "Do you realized that there are more words for penis in English language then there are for love?"
"I did not know that," Praline replied.
"Can we discuss it later?”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“I hate it when you talk to God. He always agrees with you.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“If anyone understands what makes a good story God does.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“Busy? It's the middle of the night what could you be-" she gasped.
"Are you having sex? Don't tell me. I'm a good Christian woman and I don't want to know about such things. All right, tell me a little bit, but don't be graphic unless absolutely necessary.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“too old to be fashionable but not too old enough to be retro.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“I know what a sugar daddy is,”
Praline said indignantly.
“I grew up with cable TV.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

“Don't worry, I'll calm down by tonight when we go out. Provided you keep your clothes on all day and manage not to commit any felonies."
Praline mumbled a promise to do his best, though even he worried that it might not be possible.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“Not-Dave G. gave Praline a long stare, the kind of stare that telegraphed not just lust, but three or four possible sex acts.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“Part of him knew he shouldn't follow the young man. But another part had begun to stir in his pants.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“It seems crazy to live in a place like Los Angeles with hot guys everywhere and go without. It was just like working in a chocolate factory and denying yourself candy.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“Stalking is a felony," Jason pointed out.
"They've made loving someone criminal?"
"Only if you've never met them.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“Talk dirty to me. Call me names."
"You dirty, dirty, old person." Praline said rather unenthusiastically.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“Will you be my slave?"
"No,"Praline said.
"But thank you for offering.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“So, we'll have a safe word, which you can use if it gets too intense," Warren explained."Okay?"
"All right," Praline said sceptically.
"What word do you want to use?"
Praline thought about it. He didn't want to choose anything that could easily be mistaken for "please keep doing that" so he said, "Supercalifragilisiticexpialidocious.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“I once worked with the nicest young hairdresser and one afternoon when we had nothing to do he explained how to give a blowjob from a man's perspective, and I tell you it changed everything. After that, every man I went with called me 'a goddess', 'a revelation sent from God' and 'an oral-copulating genius'".”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“Sometimes the truth was like a band-aid in need to removal.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“The two of you assaulted four young men in West Hollywood. During the assault, you called them 'breeders', 'hets' and 'straights'. These young men were emotionally traumatized.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“The man has licked your asshole. The least you can do is say 'hey'".”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“It's a mother's prerogative to lie about her children.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“I'm always careful," said Praline, and he was, though he had to admit it never made much difference.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“Fuck him with your thunder stick.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“One of the best ways to get promoted, besides sleeping with the right people, is to fail spectacularly.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“It's depressing to be so depressed.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline

“I'm not planning to do it again." Though to be honest he hadn't planned to do it in the first place. Which meant it could happen again without any planning at all.”
― Marshall Thornton, The Perils of Praline