Hard Asks Made Easy Quotes

“Psychology professor Albert Mehrabian at the University of California, Los Angeles, laid out the concept called the 7-38-55 rule in his book Silent Messages. The concept divided into percentages how we communicate emotions:3 • 7 percent spoken words • 38 percent tone of voice • 55 percent body language”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“Defensive, defensive, defensive. And you can imagine the tone of voice she had throughout our meeting: sharp, dismissive, and filled with anger that she was not being recognized for her talent and expertise.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“Drawing upon my days as a litigation attorney, I told Anna that cases and confrontational situations are “won on facts”: “Stick to the facts. Lay out the facts with suggested solutions in plain and simple terms and in a calm voice, which would win over some board members and, in time, your CEO and COO.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“Remember, your tone is your superpower. It can invite people to hear more and say yes to your ask, or it can turn them off, and your ask will fizzle away.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“Since the ask is an “emotional firecracker” with emotions running quite high, it is important to drill down and see how important your tone of voice is when you ask. While the selection of your words when you make your ask is incredibly important, as you will see in the later chapters, my expression is “Your tone is as important as your words.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“You always had that power, that desire, to have answers that would fulfill you as a person. You always asked without knowing you were asking. Would it not be amazing if we could go back in time and return to those innocent and simple days when getting the answer to just one or two questions would make your day, and nothing else in the world mattered?”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“While the no answer is not ideal, if you say over and over a number of times, “No now is not a no forever,” you will feel better about yourself, shake off this one occurrence, and get back to asking again.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“Do not go into the assumption land of guessing why they said no. It will not serve you, your business, or your charity. Also, no comes in many forms.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“Money affects us all, at all stages in our lives. It has the power to enhance and boost our lives, or it can hinder and impede our happiness and lifestyles. I call it an “emotional firecracker.” When things are good monetarily, and you feel that you are in a good financial state, life is good.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“When you ask for money, you are not taking something away; you are giving an opportunity.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“2S+1Q. Every ask needs to be two sentences and one question. The directness of this approach is key to your success. Remember that most asks are overasked and overexplained, and quite simply, there is just way too much discussion on your part so that you leave the person wondering, “Now just what is it that I’m supposed to be thinking about?”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“You need organization to organize your thoughts to optimize your success, structure to secure your stability and strength to make your best choices, and focus because where focus goes, success grows.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“Small steps will have transformational results.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“This is where we “overtalk the ask.” You begin explaining more about why there is a need for what you want without listening to their thoughts. If you don’t know their thoughts, you guess what they are, and you jump in with long and lengthy explanations, qualifications, or negotiations, hoping you will convince the person to say yes.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“you talk 25 percent of the time, and they talk 75 percent.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“A person can “see” right through you, even if you are on the phone and not in person. Think for a minute when you had someone on the line, and you could tell they were distracted, multitasking, or speaking or whispering to someone else. How did you feel? Not great because this person was not devoting their time or attention on you.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“while you will have your tailored fifteen responses to each ask you make, when you hear something that you did not expect, just add it to the list.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“First, you need to write down fifteen things you think the person will say to your ask. Second, you need to write fifteen things you will say to each of the fifteen responses you think you will receive. If you think this takes time, it sure does. Is it worth it? You bet.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“To listen with presence means there is nothing else in the world going on but the person in front of you and what they have to say. When you ask, you need to listen to the person’s every word and be present, and show you are present, and then and only then can you make the right response to their ask.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“Listening is about curiosity and patience—about asking the right questions in the right way.” You simply cannot begin to even think of asking for anything and expect really great results unless you have practiced the art of active listening.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“To listen well is to figure out what’s on someone’s mind and demonstrate that you care enough to want to know,” states Kate Murphy in You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing & Why It Matters.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“Your Tone Is Your Superpower”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“Honesty wins the day” is one of my favorite made-up mantras, and I needed it then.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“When you find yourself in a position in which you have not asked but need to, are you relying too heavily on luck, chance, or time? Push those temptations away, and make your ask.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“Unfortunately, assumptions are the seeds we sow that grow into future arguments”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“Before we ask, or when we never get the words out to ask, we have the tendency to make a lot of assumptions.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“She expected it. You can dodge the first devil that can sabotage your efforts by making sure you ask, not expect.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“When you catch yourself saying things and doing things that indicate you expect the other person will know exactly what you mean and will do what you anticipate, take a minute and see if you actually asked for what you wanted. Chances are you never asked.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“Expectation is our first devil when it comes to making an ask. It could apply to many situations when you expect the person receiving your time and attention to know what you want. You might expect that picking up an extra project at work will automatically be remembered by your boss when you discuss your upcoming bonus. You might expect that giving your child a certain look will remind him to play nicely with his sister. You may expect that when you have told a good friend that you are free to help them after their surgery, you will be the first one they call”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want

“I believe and have heard from many people that one of the hardest asks anyone can make is to ask for help. When you do that, your request can make people feel helpless, out of control, less than, or irresponsible. We have the tendency to judge ourselves by looking around and seeing and hearing other people coping with life just fine without asking for help.”
― Laura Fredricks, Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want