Brideshead Abbreviated Quotes

“Just then a little lady appeared. ‘Who are you?’ said Dorothy. ‘I am the Good Witch of the North,’ the little lady replied, ‘and if you put on the Wicked Witch’s silver shoes . . .’ ‘I’ll look like Lady Gaga.’ ‘. . . you’ll have magic powers. Now where would you like to go?’ ‘Anywhere that Andrew Lloyd Webber is not.”
― John Crace, Brideshead Abbreviated: The Digested Read of the Twentieth Century

“I was born in the city of Bombay on August 15th 1947. No, that will not do. The time is important. It was at the stroke of midnight, the precise instant of India's arrival at independence. I, Saleem Sinai, later variously called Snotface, Baldy and Too Pleased With My Own Brilliance, had my destiny tied to my country's. Now my time is running out, and I have so many stories - too many you may think - to tell, to save myself from crumbling into dust. But I am the Arabian Knights and you must put up with it.

The story starts in 1915. My grandfather, Aadam Aziz, fell on a tussock while praying and lost his faith. Blood fell from his not inconsiderable nose and solidified into rubies and diamonds, and I could already feel the Booker Prize in my hands.”
― John Crace, Brideshead Abbreviated: The Digested Read of the Twentieth Century