The Bald Soprano and Other Plays Quotes

“I'd rather lay an egg in a box than go and steal an ox.”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano: & Other Plays

“When I was born, I was almost fourteen years old. That's why I was able to understand more easily than most what it was all about.”
― Eugene Ionesco, The Bald Soprano and Other Plays

“Now didn't I warn you, just a little while ago: arithmetic leads to philology, and philology leads to crime . . .”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano: & Other Plays

“Experience teaches us that when one hears the doorbell ring it is because there is never anyone there.”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano: & Other Plays

“I'm looking for a monophysite priest to marry our maid.”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano and Other Plays

“The Dog and the Cow,” an experimental fable. Once upon a time another cow asked another dog: “Why have you not swallowed your trunk?” “Pardon me,” replied the dog, “it is because I thought that I was an elephant.”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano: & Other Plays

“MRS. SMITH: Well, this is how it was. It is difficult for me to speak openly to you, but a fireman is also a confessor.”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano: & Other Plays

“OLD MAN: Make believe yourself, it's your turn. OLD WOMAN: It's your turn. OLD MAN: Your turn. OLD WOMAN: Your turn OLD MAN: Your turn. OLD WOMAN: Your turn.”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano: & Other Plays

“My boy! It's really true, you really love hashed brown potatoes? You make me so happy. JACK [without conviction]: Yes, I like them, I adore them!”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano: & Other Plays

“PROFESSOR: Good, let's go on. I tell you, let's go on . . . How would you say, for example, in French: the roses of my grandmother are as yellow as my grandfather who was Asiatic?”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano: & Other Plays

“PUPIL: Are the roots of words square? PROFESSOR: Square or cube. That depends. PUPIL: I've got a toothache.”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano: & Other Plays

“PUPIL: I can count to . . . to infinity. PROFESSOR: That's not possible, miss. PUPIL: Well then, let's say to sixteen. PROFESSOR: That is enough. One must know one's limits. Count”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano: & Other Plays

“Who has any interest in prolonging this confusion? I don't know. Let's not try to know. Let's leave things as they are. [”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano: & Other Plays

“How bizarre, curious, strange! Then, madam, we live in the same room and we sleep in the same bed, dear lady. It is perhaps there that we have met!”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano: & Other Plays

“All doctors are quacks. And all patients too. Only the Royal Navy is honest in England.”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano: & Other Plays

“We've eaten well this evening. That's because we live in the suburbs of London and because our name is Smith.”
― Eugène Ionesco, The Bald Soprano: & Other Plays