Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors Quotes

“Regulated means you can still use your thinking brain to make choices about what to do next.”
― Robyn Gobbel, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work

“Children who have had a lot of disorganizing experiences don’t want to depend on their caregivers for safety. It feels safer to these kids to just rely on themselves, and they control and manipulate others in their attempts to do so.”
― Robyn Gobbel, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work

“Knowing that all behavior makes sense does not mean all behavior is acceptable or understandable or excusable. It just means that there is a reason for it, that it all makes sense.”
― Robyn Gobbel, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work

“prepare for whatever is going to happen next.7 In fact, more than 80 percent of our perception of reality is actually based on our memories of what has happened in the past.8”
― Robyn Gobbel, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work

“trauma and toxic stress is any disruption in the attachment and caregiving system that leaves the developing child in a chronic state of uncertainty and without the co-regulation of a safe, secure adult.”
― Robyn Gobbel, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work

“Regulated, connected parents who feel safe parent well. The way they want to. The way that matches their values.”
― Robyn Gobbel, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work

“do want your child’s behaviors to change, but more than that, I want their hurt to be seen, known, honored, welcomed, and healed.”
― Robyn Gobbel, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work

“We have to get below the surface to understand that those behaviors exist because a part of your child is hurting. I think the size of their hurt is directly correlated to the intensity of their behavior”
― Robyn Gobbel, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work

“All behavior makes sense. It still needs to be boundaried, or even changed. But if we start with the premise that it makes sense, we tend to approach the behavior with curiosity instead of control.”
― Robyn Gobbel, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work

“I thought “maladaptive” was a generous word. Implicit in the word “maladaptive” is recognition that these behaviors emerged as protective coping behaviors. They were behaviors that at one”
― Robyn Gobbel, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work

“point the child needed in order to be okay. They were adaptive then. But they weren’t adaptive any longer.”
― Robyn Gobbel, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work

“Lost Together Nihar Sharma4 If I am lost, find me but do not ask me to come back just yet. Sit with me in this lost place and maybe you will understand why I come here too often, what draws me to my neverland. Find me, but bring me back when I am ready. Maybe you will get to know me a little better. Maybe we can get lost together.”
― Robyn Gobbel, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work