Laughing in the Dark Quotes

“In fact, he’s the Master Puzzler, and he’s been working the same puzzle since time began. Think about it. We are all pieces of an intricate landscape that was formed in his heart and mind and placed in a box on his dinner table. Slowly over time he has been putting us together, piece by interlocking piece. Colossians 1:17 says, “He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” If that’s not proof that God’s a great puzzler, I don’t know what is!”
― Chonda Pierce, Laughing in the Dark: A Comedian's Journey through Depression

“Finally, in walked the doctor. The doctor? He looked more like the doctor's kid! I mean, how do med schools get away with churning out such young graduates? You know a doctor is fresh out of school, not just because his lab coat is crisp and clean, but because he rolls around on the stool like he's at Disney World.
Oh yeah---this is why I haven't been to see the OB/GYN in a while, I thought. I had to wait until my doctor was potty trained.”
― Chonda Pierce, Laughing in the Dark: A Comedian's Journey through Depression

“Often a depressed person will get a bad case of the "if onlys." "If only my husband hadn't left me." "If only my parents hadn't been killed in that car wreck." "If only I could lose weight." "If only I had been a better mother." "If only ____." You fill in the blank.
If you find yourself saying over and over, "If only ______," stop for a moment and remind yourself that the past is there and then, and there's nothing you can do to change it. Think positively about the here and now, and quit beating yourself up. Here's a little trick to help you: Put a good, thick rubber band on your wrist. Every time you have a negative thought or speak negative, "if only" words, snap the rubber band. Hurt yourself. Be consistent! This is called behavioral conditioning. Your brain is not stupid; soon it will get the connection between the pain and your negative words or thoughts, and it will stop you whenever you start going down that track.”
― Chonda Pierce, Laughing in the Dark: A Comedian's Journey through Depression

“Satan is a liar, and depression is his cell phone. Next time he calls, hang up!”
― Chonda Pierce, Laughing in the Dark: A Comedian's Journey through Depression

“Sometimes it's our stinkin' thinkin' that gets us in trouble. You know---one stinkin' thought leads to another, which leads to another, which leads to another. Eventually the smell will kill you!”
― Chonda Pierce, Laughing in the Dark: A Comedian's Journey through Depression

“But when you're depressed, you think baloney is filet mignon. You score it, marinate it, and slap it on the grill. But when you finally bite into it, reality sets in (or is it heartburn?) and you realize it ain't steak---it's baloney.”
― Chonda Pierce, Laughing in the Dark: A Comedian's Journey through Depression

“Emotion and chocolate are a lot alike: Too much and you can get downright sick, too little and the world might as well end (that is, if you like chocolate as much as I do). We women are emotional creatures! Little girls may be made of "sugar and spice and everything nice"; but let enough time go by, and that recipe is sure to ferment into some sort of emotion.”
― Chonda Pierce, Laughing in the Dark: A Comedian's Journey through Depression