The Frog Prince Quotes

“To be fair to me, I’ve never had a chair pulled out for me so I’m not really sure what to do. Do I drop my ass onto the chair and then scoot it out of his hands and under the table? Sort of hover my butt over the seat and let him scoop me up like a front loader? Dump my trunk like dead-weight and force him to push the chair in like a bricklayer pushing a loaded wheelbarrow?”
― Elle Lothlorien, The Frog Prince

“I mentally kick myself in the mental ass the whole way. Regret is familiar territory. When it comes to dating and men—hell, even having a coherent conversation with people in general—I am something of a social retard. ‘Funerals are meant to comfort the living?’ God, I’m like Emily Post crossed with Debbie Downer.”
― Elle Lothlorien, The Frog Prince

“board-stiff Taco Bell napkin that has the absorptive power of aluminum foil.”
― Elle Lothlorien, The Frog Prince

“If I didn’t know better, I think. Linguistic code for “Listen up, everyone! I’m about to say something profoundly stupid.”
― Elle Lothlorien, The Frog Prince