Take the Monkeys and Run Quotes

“If my uninvited guest was, say, The Merchant of Death, he’d slam that door off its hinges the minute he had a chance, making me funeral-home-ready in about two seconds flat.”
― Karen Cantwell, Take the Monkeys and Run

“Today was my forty-fifth birthday. Impending old age and a problem marriage were staring me in the face. Not a good place to be. I figured that right now, I had two choices — crawl out of the pit, or wallow and die. To wallow or not to wallow? That was the question. Look at Scarlett O’Hara. Did she cry and whine when Rhett walked out the door not giving a damn? Well, okay, she did. But not for long, I’ll bet. Not Scarlett. Same story here, baby, same story here.”
― Karen Cantwell, Take the Monkeys and Run

“a push up or two . . . or twenty.”
― Karen Cantwell, Take the Monkeys and Run

“or dead is coincidental. Copyright 2010 by Karen Fraunfelder Cantwell Chapter”
― Karen Cantwell, Take the Monkeys and Run

“QUICK MENTAL RECAP: KIDNAPPED BY Mafia gang ruled by insane, chain-smoking reject from the sixties—female; discover husband has alias name and FBI badge that he’s been able to keep hidden from me for seventeen years (reminder to self: get a clue!); follow half-baked scheme provided by Brad Pitt look-alike to make a quick getaway through guest bathroom; wind up playing bad game of Twister in bathtub with Elvis Presley wannabe; witness the whacking of FBI husband; hear Elvis Presley wannabe proclaim, regarding husband’s whacker: “That’s No Toes” and follow up with obvious comment, “Dis ain’t good.” Would Al Pacino be caught dead in this movie? Definitely not.”
― Karen Cantwell, Take the Monkeys and Run

“I crossed my arms and shot Howard the evil eye. It was the evilest evil eye I could muster. Beelzebub would have cringed.”
― Karen Cantwell, Take the Monkeys and Run

“THE SKY WAS BLACK, MY toes were numb and I was a lunatic.”
― Karen Cantwell, Take the Monkeys and Run

“where you’re staying—in the closet,” I said. He rushed”
― Karen Cantwell, Take the Monkeys and Run