Pretending to be Normal Quotes

“Like bookends, we have learned to support each other when the stuff in the middle pushes us apart.”
― Liane Holliday Willey, Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome

“If we are only interested in changing the AS person so that they can better meld themselves into society - a tenuous and nebulous concept to begin with - then perhaps we are misguided. The AS community gives us much cause to celebrate. Never, I think, should we expect or want them to be carbon copies of the most socially adept among us. We should only suggest whatever help they need to insure they have every opportunity of leading productive, rewarding and self-sufficient lives. We would lose too much and they would lose even more, if our goals were anything more, or less.”
― Liane Holliday Willey, Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) Expanded Edition

“Simply put, within AS, there is a wide range of function. In truth, many AS people will never receive a diagnosis. They will continue to live with other labels or no label at all. At their best, they will be the eccentrics who wow us with their unusual habits and stream-of-consciousness creativity, the inventors who give us wonderfully unique gadgets that whiz and whirl and make our life surprisingly more manageable, the geniuses who discover new mathematical equations, the great musicians and writers and artists who enliven our lives. At their most neutral, they will be the loners who never now quite how to greet us, the aloof who aren't sure they want to greet us, the collectors who know everyone at the flea market by name and date of birth, the non-conformists who cover their cars in bumper stickers, a few of the professors everyone has in college. At their most noticeable, they will be the lost souls who invade our personal space, the regulars at every diner who carry on complete conversations with the group ten tables away, the people who sound suspiciously like robots, the characters who insist they wear the same socks and eat the same breakfast day in and day out, the people who never quite find their way but never quite lose it either.”
― Liane Holliday Willey, Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) Expanded Edition

“It was great fun to think of myself as a doll I could bring to life.”
― Liane Holliday Willey, Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome

“This is why human relationships usually take me beyond my limits. They wear me out. They scatter my thoughts. They make me worry about what I have just said and what they have just said, and how or if that all fits together, and what they will say next and what I will say then, and do I owe them something or is it their turn to owe me, and why do the rules change depending”
― Liane Holliday Willey, Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) Expanded Edition

“I lost interest in the condition of humans, but I never lost interest in the human condition.”
― Liane Holliday Willey, Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) Expanded Edition

“Once you realize others know, you may be tempted to withdraw from society, suddenly feeling too exposed and vulnerable to others’ criticism and stares.”
― Liane Holliday Willey, Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) Expanded Edition

“told me I needed to assess my strengths and weaknesses, to chart what I wanted to do and how I could do it, and to lay a plan for success that was reasonable and probable. And she told me something that probably seems even more filled with common sense than all the above thoughts combined. She told me I needed to get out in public more, to exercise in the fresh air, to find a job that might help me meet friends, to do the things I most enjoyed, to cultivate my interests and hobbies and most important – never to apologize for my imperfections or my idiosyncrasies.”
― Liane Holliday Willey, Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) Expanded Edition

“If I can show them it is okay to make mistakes and that perfection is not a key to happiness, I will have given them self-acceptance. If I can teach them tenacity and courage in the face of confusion and doubt, I will have given them the will to achieve. If I can show them individuality and freedome of expression are prizes worth fighting for, I will have given them the chance to find themselves. And if, after growing up with me by their side, they learn the importance of acceptance and compassion, then I will have taught them tolerance.”
― Liane Holliday Willey, Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome

“on who the friend turns out to be and…well, the whole thing drives me to total distraction and anxiety.”
― Liane Holliday Willey, Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) Expanded Edition

“I watched people like a scientist watches an experiment. Never did I feel like I was looking in a mirror. Always did I feel I was here and they were there.”
― Liane Holliday Willey, Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) Expanded Edition

“I try to instill [in my daughters] a higher moral code, one that is far more vulnerable to decency and goodness. I want my girls to find reasons to enjoy all the people in their lives, even if it means they have to tap into every creative well in their soul to do so. I want them to truly, way down deep in their hearts, know that all people... are worthy, viable, and exceptional beings who have much to give and even more to share.”
― Liane Holliday Willey, Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) Expanded Edition

“I have learned to accept the fact that I will make mistakes at nearly every turn, but that those mistakes can be softened if I am honest about who I am to my girls.”
― Liane Holliday Willey, Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) Expanded Edition

“If I could, I would ask the world to make me skates so that I could find its frozen water and set myself free to smile, laugh, dance and cheer.

I'd see the boundaries that would be in a world frozen in its place and they would keep me safe, away from where the waters warm, away from the stares, away from the thoughts that melt and tear.

I would ask the world to skate with me, looking at the gladness I had found, knowing, really knowing, there was nothing left to fear.

I think then we would be free to live life as we could, with more in common than apart, the fog would lift, the confusion would end and true understanding would hold us dear.”
― Liane Holliday Willey, Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) Expanded Edition