The Family Law Quotes

“Likewise, when my mum learns a new word from television or conversation, she writes it down in her notebook. If the word is particularly tricky, she asks me to spell and define it, then scrawls it down onto scrap paper and sticky tapes it to the wall to help her remember its meaning and spelling… Even now, the word diarrhoea is stuck to the dining-room wall.”
― Benjamin Law, The Family Law

“When Mrs Reed turned the next page, a massive ball-sack stared us in the face, silencing us. ‘This,’ Mrs Reed said solemnly, ‘is a scrotum.’ With her finger, she proceeded to outline the wrinkly sac of skin, which hung out of the book sadly. We got the sense Mrs Reed didn’t much care for the scrotum. She gave it a wary look, as if to say, ‘So, we meet again, scrotum, my old nemesis.”
― Benjamin Law, The Family Law

“The sex education lessons were surprisingly frank. As a class, we were accustomed to Mrs Reed reading to us from giant storybooks the size of a desk, but we never thought there’d be sex education versions featuring massive, three-dimensional pop-out reproductive organs. Monstrously large-scaled labia opened and folded at us as Mrs Reed turned the pages, like fleshy, winking vertical eyes. Wink Wink, the pop-up labia seemed to be saying to us. Nudge, nudge.”
― Benjamin Law, The Family Law

“Just in case you write about this’, said my mother, ‘I wasn’t referring to my vagina. My vagina is fine. Write that down: my mother’s vagina is fine. In fact, my vagina hasn’t been touched in so long, it has sealed back up.”
― Benjamin Law, The Family Law

“Now we were like those families in magazines, the ones who served food on matching crockery, and who drank water from glasses instead of mismatched mugs. We”
― Benjamin Law, The Family Law