101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire Quotes

“Think about what your friends and family will say if your vampire gets hit by a car and immediately leaps to his feet and pounds the driver’s head into the steering wheel.   25.”
― Joleene Naylor, 101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire

“lookout for strange bite marks. You don’t want to just be a mobile snack.   4.”
― Joleene Naylor, 101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire

“are you willing to buy my human for twenty dollars?”   97.”
― Joleene Naylor, 101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire

“wait until you’re sick and can’t get out of the bathroom and then you’ll see what real impatience is.   96.”
― Joleene Naylor, 101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire

“It’s hard to explain to a hysterical maid why you have someone in your closet who looks dead.   64.”
― Joleene Naylor, 101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire

“Who will they be feeding on? Pets or people?”
― Joleene Naylor, 101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire

“You don’t want blood leaking out all over your Coke cans.   48.”
― Joleene Naylor, 101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire

“I Spy” might have been fun on school field trips back in the day, but it’s pretty hard to play in the dark. “I spy, something that is… black.”  Yeah.   40.”
― Joleene Naylor, 101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire

“It’s harder than you think to catch an unwary person at a truck stop.   34.”
― Joleene Naylor, 101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire

“Need to do laundry, but the Laundromat is closed by the time you get up? You can use body soap, or even bar soap, and wash your clothes in the bathtub. If you use scented body gel, they’ll smell nice.   27.”
― Joleene Naylor, 101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire

“you don’t want to leave a string of unburied bodies behind.  ”
― Joleene Naylor, 101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire

“Motels will not give you a discount because your friend is “dead”, so don’t ask.    ”
― Joleene Naylor, 101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire

“If you have to sleep in a coffin, try to go for an old wooden one.”
― Joleene Naylor, 101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire

“Vampires don’t sparkle in the sun; they burn to a crisp.”
― Joleene Naylor, 101 Tips for Traveling with a Vampire