The Reproductive System Quotes

“Albert Payson Terhune!”
― John Sladek, The Reproductive System

“very good. Now we’ll give you an Indian burn, and then twist your arm until you holler uncle.’ Smilax demonstrated”
― John Sladek, The Reproductive System

“Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware Of giving your heart to a dog to tear’ KIPLING”
― John Sladek, The Reproductive System

“Whether or not we could retain some control of the machines, assuming that we would want to, the nature of our activities and aspirations would be changed utterly by the presence on earth of intellectually superior beings.’ M. L. MINSKY in Scientific American”
― John Sladek, The Reproductive System

“stoolie we ever had.’ Someday, he thought, as the shay rolled along Boulevard Mohammed V, someday he would write a book, a defence of police informers: They Call Me Stoolie. ‘Why is it,’ he would write, ‘that those who risk their lives exposing murderers, thieves, dope peddlers and every crooked and vicious element of our society, that those who do their duty as citizens (for not to report a crime is misprision), are looked on by society with loathing and distaste?’ Looking at Beele, Suggs saw a skinny, nervous-looking young man on whom an eyeshade, with a press card in the band, seemed a needless affectation.”
― John Sladek, The Reproductive System

“When Barthemo Beele was two years old, he was trained to use a little potty stool that was kept in a cupboard with a hanging cloth in front of it. This little secret, with its aura of shame, interested him so keenly that he had to lift the cloth and look at it a dozen times a day. To this single episode, he later felt, all of his curiosity could be traced. For little ‘Themo’ developed an unfortunate habit of lifting hanging cloths to peer under them. And after he had lifted the skirt of a visitor, a bishop’s wife, ‘Themo’ received his first sound whipping. Yet, as if his motto were Video, ergo sum, Barthemo went on lifting hanging cloths and looking under them, and was unable to resist doing so. He would lift the corner of a tablecloth and stare at the table’s legs, fascinated, flushed with guilt and a strange pleasure he could not name. He grew to a skinny, secretive kid, addicted to tattling, to forming, with friends, secret clubs, and to writing what he hoped were dirty words on fences: FUDGE, SHAME, ORGANISM, and especially LOVE. One day by chance he lifted a blanket and found a couple of organisms making love: his mother and a man not his father. Barthemo hastened to tell his father, who thanked him for his information by spanking him and locking him in his room for a day. When he decided the boy had learned his lesson, the elder Beele relented and let him out – but on condition that he mind his own business. Barthemo actually did have a business at this time, which was selling information to the police. For nickels, dimes and quarters, he would tell them which members of which secret clubs were stealing bike tyres from gas stations and magazines from drugstores. Later, for larger sums, he told them about car thefts and burglaries. This continued well into high school, when his duties as a school reporter took up most of his free time. The police gave him a present of money when he left for college, and told him he was the ‘Best little”
― John Sladek, The Reproductive System

“LOOKING FOR TOOLS?’ The pupils of LOOK’s eyes were looking at the blank eyes of TOOLS. ‘SEE OUR SAWS’.”
― John Sladek, The Reproductive System