Ye Gods! Quotes

“Among the gods, there is a dispute as to which one of them originally thought of Christianity; or, as they call it, the Great Leg Pull. Apollo has the best claim, but a sizeable minority support Pluto, ex-God of the Dead, on the grounds that he has a really sick sense of humour.

How would it be, suggested the unidentified god, if first we tell them all to love their neighbour, pack in the killing and thieving, and be nice to each other. Then we let them start burning heretics.”
― Tom Holt, Ye Gods!

“There is an old accountant’s proverb that it’s no good the meek inheriting the earth if they end up having to pay tax on it at 40p in the pound.”
― Tom Holt, Ye Gods!

“Theology is at best an imprecise science. The best definition of an immortal is someone who hasn’t died yet.”
― Tom Holt, Ye Gods!

“In the beginning was the Word. Nobody knows what it actually was, although it would be nice to think it was ‘Sorry.”
― Tom Holt, Ye Gods!

“Give human beings fire, they reasoned, and sooner or later they will use it to burn each other’s houses down, which scores four any day of the week and six when the moon is in Scorpio.”
― Tom Holt, Ye Gods!

“Gelos is the only force in the cosmos who stands between the gods and total universal domination, because only laughter and a sense of the absurd makes it possible for human beings to dismiss the gods as a figment of the imagination; whereas if Gelos ever finds a hero brave and strong enough to protect him from the gods, he will be able to rule the whole”
― Tom Holt, Ye Gods!