Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Reasons to Stay Alive / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Quotes

“Here are a few tips on how to establish a new habit: Make the new behaviour as easy as possible to do, especially in moments when you might not feel like taking action.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“Emotions are real and valid, but they are not facts. They are a guess.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“The act of getting those thoughts and feelings out on to the page can help to unravel some of what is going on in your mind and body. It is through the processing of those painful feelings that the work of grieving is done.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“So, what can we do to stop the rumination that feeds painful emotion? When trying to change something in the moment, purely using a mental concept in our heads to re-focus on something new can be hugely difficult. I have seen many people use an active approach to good effect. When you notice that you are sliding down the slippery slope of rumination, try a firm hand pushed out in front and one word, ‘Stop!’, quickly followed by physical movement, such as standing up and moving away from the position you are in. Change activity for a moment, or even just walk around or step outside for a few minutes, whatever is possible at the time. Physically moving your body can help to shift your mind when it is otherwise very difficult.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“Thoughts are not facts. They are suggestions offered up to us by the brain to help us make sense of the world. The power of any thought is in how much we believe it to be the only truth. Taking power out of those thoughts starts with stepping back, getting some distance (metacognition) and seeing them for what they are.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“It’s called metacognition, which is a fancy name for thoughts about your thoughts. We have this ability to think. But we also have the ability to think about what we are thinking. Metacognition is the process of stepping back from the thoughts and getting enough distance to allow us to see those thoughts for what they really are. When you do this, they lose some of their power over you and how you feel and behave. You get to choose how you respond to them rather than feeling controlled and driven by something. Metacognition sounds complicated but it is simply the process of noticing which thoughts pop into your head and observing how they make you feel. You can have a go by pausing for a few minutes and noticing where your mind wanders to. Notice how you can choose to focus in on a thought, like Stanley putting the mask over his face, or you can let it pass and wait for the next thought to arrive. The power of any thought is in how much we buy into it. How much we believe it to be true and meaningful. When we observe our own thought processes in this way, we start to see thoughts for what they are, and what they are not. Thoughts are not facts. They are a mix of opinions, judgements, stories, memories, theories, interpretations, and predictions about the future. They are ideas offered up by your brain about ways we could make sense of the world. But the brain has limited information to go on.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“Gratitude practice is another simple way to get used to turning your attention. Find a small notebook and, once a day, write down three things that you feel grateful for.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“We also need to make use of small rewards as we work on big goals. When we break down big challenges into smaller tasks and reward ourselves for reaching those milestones, we get the benefits of small dopamine hits along the way. Dopamine not only gives us a little ‘buzz’ that feels rewarding, it also drives us to look ahead to the next milestone and motivates us to keeping driving forward.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“A simple shift of language can help us turn towards gratitude. For example, try switching ‘I have to …’ with ‘I get to …”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“Write down all the potential hurdles that could cause you to get off track. For each hurdle, make a plan of action about how you will prevent those hurdles from causing you to get off track or give up on your goals.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“Spend time imagining your future. When we create a vivid image of ourselves in the future, the easier it becomes to make choices in the here and now that will benefit your future”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“If there is something emotions are pretty useful for, it’s telling you what you need. When we allow ourselves to feel emotion without blocking it out or pushing it away, we can turn towards it with curiosity, and learn.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“A self-soothing box is something you prepare in advance, when you are able to think through what most helps in times of distress. Grab an old shoe box and fill it with anything that could help to soothe you when you are in distress. As described above, anything that you associate with feelings of safety and comfort is great to include.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“If you often feel at a loss for words when trying to describe how you feel, and need help to build up your emotional vocabulary, the Feeling Wheel (Willcox, 1982) is a great resource that is often used in therapy for exactly this purpose.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“Anger is there to agitate us to move and make something happen.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“We are often sold the idea that happiness is the norm and anything outside of that could be a mental health problem.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive

“Crucially, this exercise is not about all the problems we face and the pleasant or painful emotions we encounter each day. It is about the meaning we find in both the toughest and easiest days. It does not ask us to wait until everything is fine before we start living as the kind of person we want to be. It gets us thinking about how we can consciously choose to live by our values, whatever is going on around us.”
― Dr Julie Smith, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) / Reasons to Stay Alive