Mom Rage Quotes

“Rage is faster than reason.”
― Minna Dubin, Mom Rage: The Everyday Crisis of Modern Motherhood

“4 Key Questions to Ask Your Rage:
1. Where does it hurt?
2. What are you afraid of?
3. What are you trying to protect?
4. What do you need?”
― Minna Dubin, Mom Rage: The Everyday Crisis of Modern Motherhood

“The silence that surrounds mom rage is filled with fear. This fear gets instilled in us through cultural messaging that tells us motherhood is just the best. And if anyone dare disagree? Shame! We worry if our shameful words hit the air, our monstrousness might be true. So many of us struggling with mom rage don't tell our partners. We are afraid our friends will think badly of us, or they won't relate. We are terrified that if we share how furious we've become since having babies, it will get twisted into "I hate being a mom," which will further twist into "I don't love my children."
At the end of the a rage-filled day, we lie in bed curled in a fetal position, sobbing. We think of the softness of our babies' skin, the way our children have a dep knowing that our bodies are nests, and they snuggle in till everything's just right, like a cat turning circles before she settles down. Not loving our children? This couldn't be further from the truth. But the fear that someone might misunderstand takes our breath away. So we retreat - into our beds, our cars, our drinks, our screens, ourselves. We shut the windows. We lock the doors. We don't tell a soul.”
― Minna Dubin, Mom Rage: The Everyday Crisis of Modern Motherhood

“Talking about mom rage yanks it down from the scary place it looms in our minds, and enables us to engage with the tenderness that lives inside it. Speaking mom rage out loud is a way of staking a claim for oneself. I am worthy of forgiveness. I am worthy of care. My experience matters. Oppression strives to strip away people's power by silencing their voices and trivializing their experiences.”
― Minna Dubin, Mom Rage: The Everyday Crisis of Modern Motherhood

“When we listen to our rage, we pay homage to our anger. While raging at our loved ones is not ideal, we are entitled to all our emotions. “Anger has a bad rap,” says Soraya Chemaly, author of Rage Becomes Her. “But it is actually one of the most hopeful and forward-thinking of all our emotions. It begets transformation, manifesting our passion and keeping us invested in the world. It is a rational and emotional response to trespass, violation, and moral disorder.”
Part of inviting my rage to tea is about healing my perfectionism and the hateful ways I treat myself when I don’t hit that “perfect mother” bar. If I pull back the curtains on my rage, poke around and locate my needs, fears, and hurt places, I understand myself better. I witness my vulnerability and am able to offer myself compassion. With this additional access to empathy, I don’t pounce on myself as quickly. Instead, I practice my mothering skills—Whoops, there’s that rage popping up again. Let’s see if I can give myself what I need. By inviting my rage to tea, I am doing what I need most: I am mothering myself.

Maybe I can be precious, too.”
― Minna Dubin, Mom Rage: The Everyday Crisis of Modern Motherhood

“Mother rage is not “appropriate.” Mothers are supposed to be martyr-like in our patience. We are not supposed to want to hit our kids or to tear out our hair. We hide these urges, because we are afraid to be labeled “bad moms.” We feel the need to qualify our frustration with “I love my child to the moon and back, but….” As if mother rage equals a lack of love. As if rage has never shared a border with love. Fearing judgment, we say nothing. The rage festers and we are left under a pile of loneliness and debilitating shame.”
― Minna Dubin, Mom Rage: The Everyday Crisis of Modern Motherhood

“Embracing our anger as mothers is the first step towards dismantling the systemic challenges we face. It's not about being perfect; it's about being heard and forging a path toward change.”
― Minna Dubin, Mom Rage: The Everyday Crisis of Modern Motherhood