Cress ’s Reviews > Guàrdies! Guàrdies! > Status Update

“I want to be clear about this,” he said coldly. “Are we to believe that you are asking for a petty wage increase and a domestic utensil?”

They literally could've asked for ANYTHING???!!!!!! OMG

“It’s not that,” said Colon. “It’s Carrot. He’s arrested the dragon.” Vimes paused. “What do you mean, arrested ?” he said. “You don’t mean what I think you mean, do you?” “Could be, sir,” said Colon uncertainly. “Could be. He was up on the rubble like a shot, sir, grabbed it by a wing and said ‘You’re nicked , chummy,’ sir. Couldn’t believe it, sir. Sir, the thing is…”

Imagine not loving Carrot

Carrot stepped out of the shadows, grinning all over his face. “Knew I could rely on you,” he said. “Follow me!” “Something odd about that boy,” said Colon, as they limped after him. “He always manages to persuade us to follow him, have you noticed?”

I'm pretty sure if it was Carrot who took that shot, the dragon would be dead now bcuz he's the rightful heir to the throne

There will be no mighty warriors sent to kill me? it thought, almost plaintively. “I don’t think so.” No heroes? “Not anymore. They cost too much.” But I will be eating people!

I think there are tho...

However, almost all of it missed the small part of Errol’s brain that was used for being Errol. All he knew was that he was suddenly very, very thirsty.

Huh?? 👀

A furious vision in padded leather, gauntlets, tiara and thirty yards of damp pink tulle leaned down toward him and screamed: “Come on, you bloody idiot!” One glove caught him under his unresisting shoulder and hauled him bodily onto the box. “And stop screaming!” the phantom ordered, focusing generations of natural authority into four syllables.

Okay but they cute!!!!

“Dunno, sir,” he corrected. “Do you want to find out?” The leader shook his head. But he did manage to find his voice. “Who are you, anyway?” he said. Vimes drew himself up. “Captain Vimes, City Watch,” he said.

Ohhh i need more of this please

Once you’ve ruled out the impossible then whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truth.

The people of Ankh-Morpork were not by nature heroic but were, by nature, salesmen. In the space of a few feet Vimes could have bought any number of magical weapons Genuine certyfycate of orthenticity with everyone, a cloak of invisibility—...

Capitalism everywhere 🤷🏼‍♀️

The Supreme Grand Master smiled in the depths of his robe. It was amazing, this mystic business. You tell them a lie, and then when you don’t need it anymore you tell them another lie and tell them they’re progressing along the road to wisdom. Then instead of laughing they follow you even more, hoping that at the heart of all the lies they’ll find the truth. And bit by bit they accept the unacceptable. Amazing