Madi’s Reviews > Sociopath > Status Update

“This is so exciting. Have I ever told you you’re the best person at helping others out of the darkness?”
“You have, actually.” I laughed. “Never fear!” I shouted. “Captain Apathy doesn’t care!”

{...}

“You care when it matters,” she whispered. “That’s all that matters.”

I used a notebook to keep a precise record, in real time, of when I noticed feelings of anxiety, what preceded the feelings, and what compulsions they triggered. The more aware I became of my own destructive psychological patterns, both past and present, the more adept I became at addressing them.

But the bottom line was this: In order to remain an active (albeit secretly dysfunctional) member of society and continue to enjoy all the perks of membership, I would have to alter my anxious response

“Because you’re not sorry,” Mom said quietly. “Not really. Not in your heart.” Then she looked at me as if I was a stranger. It paralyzed me, that look. [...] It was a look of hazy recognition, as if to say, “There’s something off about you. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I can feel it.

This part gave me chills:


“I’m a liar. I’m a thief. I’m emotionally shallow. I’m mostly immune to remorse and guilt. I’m highly manipulative. I don’t care what other people think. I’m not interested in morals. I’m not interested, period. Rules do not factor into my decision-making. I’m capable of almost anything.”

On the surface I resemble almost every other average American woman. Social media confirms my existence as a happy mommy and loving partner whose posts are borderline narcissistic. Your friends would probably describe me as nice. But guess what?

I can’t stand your friends.