Lana’s Reviews > How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self > Status Update

“Our parent figures have lived in a condition state for their whole lives. Decades have learned behaviors not just evaporate when you point them out. Sometimes these conversation conversations may be more hurtful than they are productive. There might even be anger directed back at you.”

Thinking about the conversations I’ve tried already with mine…….

“Their adult children often live from that protected and familiar space of their ego and often have an intense need to be “right” rejecting other people‘s opinions and making others feel just as small and insignificant as they once did.”

Whew. So glad I have this reference as my next read.

Can I read this book in peace!? Now I know why I’m an oversharer.

I started to skim. I didn’t think I needed help with this “boundaries” section. Until the topic of being TOO rigid came up and this book read me to filth. Again. *sigh* add this to the list of things I need to ask my therapist.

“I’ve always wanted to be laid back and stress free…

…then there were always the damn dishes.”

“..or you may receive awards and recognition without doing too much active work, which made you internalize a belief that ‘ I only enjoy things that I’m naturally good at and will quit anything that challenges me or is not immediately easy’.”

Wowwwww. This is me. When I was younger nothing seems too hard to do, makes sense as an adult why I quit when I get challenged.

It’s taking me forever to finish this book. I am too distracted with life but every time I pick it up its full of info I definitely want to know.

“If parent-figures have not healed or even recognized their own unresolved traumas, they cannot consciously navigate their own path in life, let alone act as trustworthy guides for someone else.”

Ain’t that the damn truth!