Courtney’s Reviews > The Necktie and the Jaguar: A memoir to help you change your story and find fulfillment > Status Update

With people I was working with, I often resorted to joking to deflect from an uncomfortable emotion, such as anger, sadness, or embarrassment. I had learned this from my dad and his side of the family. In the moment, joking could help me feel better, but I was shifting the discomfort to others. I would have to learn to handle my emotions differently to be more direct and authentic as well as to express and nourish a side of myself that had become closed off long ago.

In midlife, I was beginning to learn that you can't split off parts of yourself and put them into a deep freeze, so to speak, without consequences. Those heads and bodies I reattached in my dreams would always bear scars, just as I would, because my lack of emotional integration significantly affected my marriage.