Shannon’s Reviews > Hellbent > Status Update

"I don't know exactly what's wrong with you, but I bet it's hard to pronounce when you're drunk."

For some reason, the kids were out when we returned. God only knew what they did on their own time, and since it was pretty much all their own time when they were out of my sight, I suppose I should say instead that I have no idea what their lives were like when I wasn't present. Probably they were out getting ice cream at the IHOP, or for all I knew they hit the town to beat up hookers.

"Before you go," he said as he set the glasses on a silver tray, "let's settle the matter with a toast." Then he pulled out a slim silver knife that would've passed for a letter opener at twenty paces, but was as sharp as a razor.
Adrian noticed immediately that Max didn't pull out a decanter of brandy, or any other container of anything else. He was trying not to look worried. He's a sharp lad, that Adrian.

Sometimes I wish I were taller. When I was young and alive, I was considered quite tall for a woman. (I'm about five-foot-seven, maybe -eight in shoes.) These days I'm about average, and the average is slinking away from me every generation. I have some honest and deep-seated fears that in two hundred years I'm going to look like a very conspicuous midget.

He took the picture out of my hand and pointed at something I could barely see. "Those little tags, tied onto them like toe-tags."
"Except they're dick-tags."

I think this conversation is even more fantastic without knowing any context. Although, I'll give you one thing: unicorn penis. (I've probably made things worse by including that ... but I can't keep it to myself.)

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO READ! ARGH.