nathan’s Reviews > Lifeform > Status Update

because you see the wildness shut inside of the animal itself. That they are made to contain the expanse of their own limitlessness, a limitlessness that is wildness itself, that they are made to domesticate their wildness inside of their bodies while they are forced to live in a fabrication of their world.

The pulse of the instincts—the true purpose of each creature—is fully alive underneath its oppression,

And infinity is a perfect way to describe where the silence of my repeated labors deposits itself, somewhere between the trash can and the sink.

And then I actually woke up, and the sound that took me from dreaming to awake was myself laughing at how bizarre this experience is of making a lifeform while being a lifeform. I woke myself up laughing, and the laughter was like a string of bells being pulled from inside of me.

Honey, you should miss me because I know you as the person who looked past my fits of fright and helped me through to now.

I was down in New York City. I was out of my mind inside of my mind, but I was not a lost cause.

I am able to rest and soothe myself a bit by saying things like, “It is only natural that you would feel very frightened by a chance at real happiness. But at least if it gets ruined, you can finally admit that you are bad at romance, and stop trying to partner up, and just become a mammal in clothes who does creative projects and travels the world.

We all have to do our jobs if we want to be able to buy our stupid fucking shirts and an infinity of alcohol.

and I think, What if I actually cannot do this? What if I get what I want and it just overloads me and I malfunction because I am not normal?

It is not stage fright, it is fear of wanting the life that I am starting to possibly get.